Relationship Did Not Work Out?---Does Not Make You A Failure
Dec 15, 2013 9:31:29 GMT -8
RoseNadler likes this
Post by Loving My Life on Dec 15, 2013 9:31:29 GMT -8
Just because a relationship did not work out for you and your poa, this does not make you a failure at everything in your life, we have to stop beating ourselves up, we have to stop all the negative self talk, we have to see what was good about ourselves to even make this person pay attention to us in the first place, and this is what we need to keep building on, once the relationship is over.
Because our self esteem and self worth is so low, and we don't feel like we deserved the relationship in the first place, when the relationship is done we feel like our life is over, and we will never find love again. We have to change this thinking.
Challenge yourself to look at yourself now, what was some of the positives in the relationship, and I want your point of view, not your poa's point of view, or what you thought your poa thought, I want to know how you really felt about yourself in your relationship?
Did you feel confident?
Did you feel pretty?
Did you feel like you were going to be okay with or without this relationship? This is very important, because until we can get to this point, we really should not keep putting ourselves back out there in relationships, because the same devastation will happen time after time, because we are still looking for someone to rescue us, and to take care of us. And we have to do this for ourselves.
How do expect someone else to take care of us, when we cant even take care of ourselves? We are adults, and no one is going to take care of us now.
As you work through this, and really work through this, and write out your attributes, and what you have to give in a relationship with someone, poa or friends?
Write out your dating plan, and deal breakers?
And really be honest with yourself, if there are things about your poa's life that you don't like from the start, if you know you can not deal with this in the future, please don't pretend you can, and then try to change your poa once the relationship is moving forward.
We can not change people, places, or things. Once we learn this, it makes our life a lot easier, for all parties involved.
What did you learn about yourself when this relationship ended this time? Did you notice if the same things happened this time as the last relationship you were in? If so, there is more work to be done on yourself?
We have to work on ourselves, and get down to the causes and conditions within ourselves, or nothing will ever change, we will just keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different result. This is the hardest thing to do, is too look at ourselves, and work on ourselves, and learn how to deal with our fears. We have to face our fears, in order to heal.
Why is this so scary? It was scary for me, because I thought if I knew the real me, I would just fall apart, but the reality is once I did a complete thorough house cleaning (4th step) of myself with a sponsor, and I learned how to deal with me, my life became a lot better, I did not keep hurting myself over and over again.
I just wanted to throw this out in the forum, to see if you can relate to any of this?
Acceptance was the answer..
Because our self esteem and self worth is so low, and we don't feel like we deserved the relationship in the first place, when the relationship is done we feel like our life is over, and we will never find love again. We have to change this thinking.
Challenge yourself to look at yourself now, what was some of the positives in the relationship, and I want your point of view, not your poa's point of view, or what you thought your poa thought, I want to know how you really felt about yourself in your relationship?
Did you feel confident?
Did you feel pretty?
Did you feel like you were going to be okay with or without this relationship? This is very important, because until we can get to this point, we really should not keep putting ourselves back out there in relationships, because the same devastation will happen time after time, because we are still looking for someone to rescue us, and to take care of us. And we have to do this for ourselves.
How do expect someone else to take care of us, when we cant even take care of ourselves? We are adults, and no one is going to take care of us now.
As you work through this, and really work through this, and write out your attributes, and what you have to give in a relationship with someone, poa or friends?
Write out your dating plan, and deal breakers?
And really be honest with yourself, if there are things about your poa's life that you don't like from the start, if you know you can not deal with this in the future, please don't pretend you can, and then try to change your poa once the relationship is moving forward.
We can not change people, places, or things. Once we learn this, it makes our life a lot easier, for all parties involved.
What did you learn about yourself when this relationship ended this time? Did you notice if the same things happened this time as the last relationship you were in? If so, there is more work to be done on yourself?
We have to work on ourselves, and get down to the causes and conditions within ourselves, or nothing will ever change, we will just keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different result. This is the hardest thing to do, is too look at ourselves, and work on ourselves, and learn how to deal with our fears. We have to face our fears, in order to heal.
Why is this so scary? It was scary for me, because I thought if I knew the real me, I would just fall apart, but the reality is once I did a complete thorough house cleaning (4th step) of myself with a sponsor, and I learned how to deal with me, my life became a lot better, I did not keep hurting myself over and over again.
I just wanted to throw this out in the forum, to see if you can relate to any of this?
Acceptance was the answer..
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