We Have To Stop Playing The Victim--We Rise Above This
Jan 24, 2014 7:25:30 GMT -8
requin, SandyLove, and 1 more like this
Post by Loving My Life on Jan 24, 2014 7:25:30 GMT -8
As I was reading my daily meditation this morning, I can remember when I first got to recovery and all I ever wanted to do was talk about what everyone else did too me, and I learned very quickly when we are in recovery the focus is not about everybody else, the focus is now on ME. This was one of the hardest lessons I learned, I had to look at myself and I have to take responsibility for my life, my choices, and I had to do a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, to also find out the "why's" of a lot of my decisions. I really thought I loved myself, and I also thought I had a high self esteem of myself, but as time went on and I started to peel back the layers of this onion, I could finally see why I was doing some of the things I was doing in my life to cause myself a lot of pain.
I need sponsors to help me walk through this process. Recovery is a "WE" program, not a "I" program, and we need others who have gone through the same things to guide us through this process. As they ssy, WE GROW UP IN RECOVERY.
Here is the morning meditation:
"Before I discovered recovery I often used other people's problems as an excuse to avoid my obligations.
I loved the drama of another's crisis and talked about it at every opportunity. My own life seemed increasingly trivial, and my problems felt silly.
It was therefore very difficult for me to focus on myself when I came into recovery. I wanted to talk about the other addict when I went to meetings, but no one seemed interested. They all kept asking about ME---how I felt, what I did, what I wanted. Recovery is about us now, and no one else, we are trying to save our life's.
I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself. My sponsor helped me to see that when I acted as if someone else's life was more important than mine, I was harming myself. This had to stop if I wanted to learn to value my own experience.
Focusing on myself was the beginning of building self-esteem. It took practice, but with the support I got in meetings and on this forum, I grew more comfortable. I learned to talk about myself and to view my feelings, achievements, and concerns as valid and important.
This is why it is so important to share with others in recovery, we have to know we are on the right track with our thinking, it is very easy to get back into that comfortable place of "stinking thinking". We might not also like the answers we get, but this is how we learn to have healthy conversations with others as we move through this recovery process. We don't always have to be right, and we don't have to make others think like us, we are free to have our own opinions, and we can agree to disagree, this is how we grow.
Quote: Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be peaceful?
Today's Reminder:
Today, if I'm tempted to gossip or to create a drama around someone else's life, I will ask myself. "What is going on with me?
"We talk about the part we played in our problems and how we change our attitudes and actions by applying our tools of recovery to every aspect of our lives."
I need sponsors to help me walk through this process. Recovery is a "WE" program, not a "I" program, and we need others who have gone through the same things to guide us through this process. As they ssy, WE GROW UP IN RECOVERY.
Here is the morning meditation:
"Before I discovered recovery I often used other people's problems as an excuse to avoid my obligations.
I loved the drama of another's crisis and talked about it at every opportunity. My own life seemed increasingly trivial, and my problems felt silly.
It was therefore very difficult for me to focus on myself when I came into recovery. I wanted to talk about the other addict when I went to meetings, but no one seemed interested. They all kept asking about ME---how I felt, what I did, what I wanted. Recovery is about us now, and no one else, we are trying to save our life's.
I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself. My sponsor helped me to see that when I acted as if someone else's life was more important than mine, I was harming myself. This had to stop if I wanted to learn to value my own experience.
Focusing on myself was the beginning of building self-esteem. It took practice, but with the support I got in meetings and on this forum, I grew more comfortable. I learned to talk about myself and to view my feelings, achievements, and concerns as valid and important.
This is why it is so important to share with others in recovery, we have to know we are on the right track with our thinking, it is very easy to get back into that comfortable place of "stinking thinking". We might not also like the answers we get, but this is how we learn to have healthy conversations with others as we move through this recovery process. We don't always have to be right, and we don't have to make others think like us, we are free to have our own opinions, and we can agree to disagree, this is how we grow.
Quote: Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be peaceful?
Today's Reminder:
Today, if I'm tempted to gossip or to create a drama around someone else's life, I will ask myself. "What is going on with me?
"We talk about the part we played in our problems and how we change our attitudes and actions by applying our tools of recovery to every aspect of our lives."
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