Pregnant and alone!!!

I hear you.

Yes, you are not alone. It is so devastating when this happens, let alone when you are preparing to bring another life into the world. Do you have family or friends that can help you get through this?

Prayers to you and your child

Yes my family has been very supportive... but i still have feelings of hope for our relationship, and i know its just not healthy anymore..for me! ive tried so hard to make him happy and he continually treated me like dirt! it just hurts that hes doing this to me:( and our baby...I really need his support right now. but he thinks its the right thing..oh well...im just happy i didnt marry him! and im not putting him on the birth certificate!

thankyou for the support... i just pray he realizes that he is making a big mistake!

Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place im just a mess right now:/

"...but i still have feelings of hope for our relationship, and i know its just not healthy..."

That was your addiction speaking. That's the main sign of addiction. You see the red flags, you know the relationship is unhealthy for you, but you still wants it anyway.

We all were like this, and if we don't keep aware, we all will be like this again.

What's necessary your relationship became healthy? Since you say that you've done everything you could, I may conclude that is him who needs to do his part.

Now, the guy leaves you while you're pregnant... Does it seems to be the attitude of someone who wants to have a healthy relationship?

Think about this: is there anything that he could do to erase from your memory what you've been through lately? Even if he'd decided to come back to you, nothing will ever make you forget what you're feeling right now.

I can say it from my own experience. While I was devastated, she was ok. When she decided to "give us a chance again", I had become a completely insecure person. Everytime I leaved her home at night, I was never sure if she would want to talk to me in the next day.

Focus in your child right now. He (or she) will be your biggest blessing. You have a supportive family and a wonderful time ahead of you.

Do you really want a guy so ungrateful - to say the least - to share it with you? Do you think that he deserves it?

Be welcome to the forum!

Thankyou everyone for your advice. I know i have a abandoment issues and i know that our relationship is not healthy... some days are good and some days are bad. I am giving my all to be strong for my baby. And im so excited to see him soon, hes due in may:) I just wanted to give my baby something i didnt have, a father!! But we will see if he comes through on his "word"...he never has. I go to church regularly and god is really giving me strenghth! i have never felt like i will actually be okay with being a single mom:') I'm just really disappointed in him, i actually believed him! which is the sad part. but i know ill be okay... im just taking it day by day, and its day four of not calling him! which is a huge step for me. because im usually soooo needy and practically begging him to stay. i think i just finally had enough!

hope89, be sure: you'll find a father to your baby. As we use to say around here "Father is the one who raises the children, not the one who makes them".

My PoA is a single mom. I use to see her son on a daily basis since he was 2 yrs old, until last december (he is 5 now), and... God, how I miss him! I became his "father" in such an extent that even his biological father wished me a "Happy Father's Day" last year, since I was having much more familiarity with the boy than himself (the guy lives in another city), and, in his words, I as "doing a very, very, good work on being a father".

But you see, when someone is not up to be with us, they'll leave anyway... Even a mother, seeing her son becoming so attached to someone who is not his biological father, and watching this person loving her son so much...

As James put it, LOTS of men break up with women when they are pregnant. You can be as angry as you want to be. But then what? FOcus on what you DO have, not what you lack or what you wish you had.

Second, technically, he's the father, so you will have a relationship with him the rest of your life. This is not to say you will get together and be in love again. It is to say that he has a responsibility to the financial well-being of that child whether he likes it or not. It may be time to look into that (i.e. get a lawyer).

Lastly, I hate to call people on their comments, but the whole "you'll find a father" approach is not healthy. That child has a father. Unfortunately, he's not an ideal one. You can either cry about this, or say to yourself, how can I be the best mom ever? The other thing is, if you believe that you will someday "find a father" for your baby, it creates in you a need that should not be there when you go out looking for a new partner. This child does not NEED a new father, and neither do you. WHat you will want to look out for, simply, is a man who will be kind and good to your child. That's all. But when we add an element of need to our search for a partner it ALWAYS FAILS. Any woman that ever married a guy for financial reason or for support most likely is unhappy now. You need to be everything for yourself and for that baby. I know that's a hard concept at 19, but that's what probably got you here in the first place--you looked to others to fill your needs (and when a need isn't filled by the person who promised to fulfill our needs…we get ANGRY!).

Hang in there, and put the focus where it needs to be: on your pregnancy, on how you will support and care for your baby, and on your legal rights to obtain financial support from him, for your baby. And remember, he does not have to love you or stay with you. But he DOES have to financially support his child.

You have these issues with men because you do not believe in yourself and you do not know what it means to take care of yourself. I know that hurts to hear, but women (and men) who believe in themselves, have self-esteem and know how to take care of themselves, do not allow people with red flags into their lives--at least not when it comes to romantic relationships. They don't accept abuse, they want nothing to do with drugs or people who do them, and they look for people who are trustworthy, kind and respectful. If you are not looking for a person like that, then you don't BELIEVE that's what you deserve. Ask yourself why. WHat it is about you that thinks you don't deserve these things? And as well, ask if YOU possess these qualities within yourself. Do you?

You are about to embark on one of the best journeys of your life--raising a child. Be kind, respectful, loving, trustworthy. Teach your child these things. And in turn, you learn.