Post by Loving My Life on Feb 6, 2014 10:02:03 GMT -8
Blessed, when we are trying to stay in recovery and our husbands still are in their addictions it is hard to deal with. So we have to make a decision if we want to continue living this way? Waiting for them to change.
Have you been able to get involved with al-anon or coda meetings? This will give you some comfort.
And you can also just not go with your husband if he is drinking. Set some healthy boundaries for yourself and just try to stay sane.
I know when I stop hearing my boyfriend of 25 years when he is drinking alot of his mess stopped, he just could not get a rise out of me any longer. I will not listen to him when he is drinking, I just tell him to be quiet or go to bed.
Yes it is hard living with someone who drinks, but set your boundaries.
Good for you not acting out and coming here first to talk about what is going on with you. This helps so much, just to know someone is listening and understands what your going thru. I certainly do.
One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)
I am sorry to hear that Blessed1. Honestly, you are better than me in handling such a negative and provoking husband. Name calling and putdowns are not acceptable to me at all.
If he would not stop, just pray, meditate and tell yourself, "I did not receive what he's saying. Those were lies." Then affirm and build yourself up with the opposite words he used against you.
Remember, it is from the abundance of his heart that he speaks. His words are mere reflection of his own heart's issues. Therefore, he is referring to himself, not you.
Hang in there for you - because you are worth it.
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore