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Post by caringcara on Feb 19, 2014 8:22:52 GMT -8
I never heard a positive word about myself from my family while I was growing up. I went back to school and accomplished some things I never imagined accomplishing just to try to help myself with self esteem. I admit I do feel a lot better about myself but there is still a huge disconnect. All I have now is something to be proud of, but it hasn't really helped my self esteem,
I feel very shallow saying this because I am not a shallow person, but my trigger with men and love addiction is hearing them say I'm pretty or beautiful. Even if I get a look from a man, I'm like a magnet to him. I feel like such a fool because you know these guys just love how easy it is to get my attention by giving me a crumb here and there. I feel like they must laugh at me behind my back. I end up with these men who keep me around for nothing but an ego boost.
Any books to recommend? anything??
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 19, 2014 9:05:17 GMT -8
The Seven Pillars of Self-Esteem, by Nathaniel Braden.
This is a good book.
Also stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself.
And you can also start doing daily affirmations.
Anytime a negative thought about yourself creeps in, stop and replace it with something positive.
We have to retrain our brain because we have been told alot of negative things about ourselves, and we believe these things, and this is not who we are, we are loving, caring, smart human beings.
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Post by James C T on Feb 19, 2014 10:00:57 GMT -8
Cara, you're not alone. I once joked that a woman could have whatever she wanted from me if she would just be nice to me. I'm not that bad anymore, but it's still a big issue.
And wanting someone to say something nice about you or to find you valuable is human, so don't beat yourself up about it.
And for your self-esteem bank: I appreciate your honest sharing and I'm glad you're here.
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Post by loveaddicted on Feb 19, 2014 10:12:22 GMT -8
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Post by loveaddicted on Feb 19, 2014 10:15:08 GMT -8
I am learning this myself. Know who you are in Christ. Know your value your valuable just because you are a human being. Do not take your value from others. Others are mirrors to us but to help us to grow not tear us down. Be only around up lifting people who make you feel good about yourself. Also be your own best friend. I say this. I know I have beat myself up as well as allowing others to beat me up. However my uplifting for you today is love yourself. start taking care of yourself.
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 20, 2014 0:44:33 GMT -8
The book of Psalms is very helpful and the meditation of Psalm 139.
Unfortunately, there is no qualitative self-esteem produced by "quick step" today. Because it usually takes time and consistency for it to form a solid foundation. Especially, if a person has a history of poor self-esteem, childhood neglect/abuse. Therefore, give yourself quality t i m e and the attention you need. Make your life about you. Build yourself up without a man. It is all within you.
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