Post by Rainbows Always on Feb 8, 2008 5:17:51 GMT -8
Or is it that when we have high self esteem we can develop healthy boundaries?? Or is it both? Which came first the chicken or the egg? I dont know!
As part of my recovery to increase my self esteem I am working on my boundaries. If only my family thought like this. I put down a boundary with a family member last week, just a simple one. I said it in a loving, kind way. It was something I needed to do for myself. All hell broke lose for a week and no-one spoke to me. They scoffed at my boundary and said "it's more like a limitation!!". I was very upset and hurt. But according to my therapist, and a great book Im reading and my sponsor, they all said what I did was perfectly OK.
That people pleaser, co-dep part of me was anxious all week. It was awful. But they say as we recover, it will get easier. And when we put down our boundaries with others, they generally will not like it at first.
I love this poem, my sponsor sent me tonight. It is called "Gesalt"
I will do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I.
And if by chance
we find each other,it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.