We Are Going To Do Our Recovery The Way We Want To!!!

As I have been checking in on the forum this week and glances over some of the post, some things have stood out to me, and I remember thinking these things myself when I was new into recovery. Some of us don't want to hear the word GOD, that does not work for all of us, so we want listen to advise if the word GOD is mentioned. Some of us don't want to hear the words of AA, SA, LA, so if anything is mention about that we disregard this as well. We just sometimes want the easier softer way to do this thing called recovery, and there is never a easier way, when we are having to look within ourselves, and face ourselves, and admit we need to do a lot of work on ourselves.

I also know this post is not going to be the most popular, but we have to keep saying these things over and over again, until at some point the light bulb goes off and we decide that pain is not worth it anymore, and we do something about our recovery. It really does not matter which path you choose to recovery on, as long as you don't try to do all of this alone. We have to be accountable to someone on this journey, or else we are not aware of ourselves and our actions, and we just keep doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.

As I am writing this out is reminds me of a chapter in the AA Big Book, and it is this, We wanted to be the Actor, Producer, and if everyone would just act like I thought that should act, then my life would be wonderful, and what we miss in this thinking is most of the time it is not the other person who needs to change, it is ourselves who need to change, and our expectations of others. As addicts change scares us to death. What does change mean? Do this means you will not know who the real you is? Does this mean giving up control over your own life? No it does not, but when you are new yes you have to be able to get out of denial, and you really have to do the work on yourself and you just have to live and let live. This does not happen overnight. The road I have been on for the last 5 years, has not been easy, but know that I am on the other side of all of this pain, I would not change a thing. And it has all been a process of discovery with me. Every situation that I encounter today, if I am feeling overwhelmed and upset about something, the first things I do now, is I stop and I look within myself to see what is causing these uncomfortable feelings? I have to know this today, or else I will drive myself insane trying to control the uncontrollable. We have no control over people, places, or things, we only have control over our reactions to them.

And this post is not pointed at anyone, I use to be just like this as well, so if you have a problem with what is being said in this post, don't get upset, maybe this is what you needed to hear today. We have to change our thinking, if anything is really ever going to change.