Suffering---It's Part Of The Healing Process
Apr 4, 2014 3:33:56 GMT -8
loveellen, RoseNadler, and 1 more like this
Post by Loving My Life on Apr 4, 2014 3:33:56 GMT -8
I was thinking about a few things, and going back to the place I was emotionally when I found this forum in 2011, and as I continue on this road, I don't ever want to repeat the hell I felt at that time, and it took me about 2 years to really complete this process, 3 years of trying every way in the world to make my relationship work with my poa, and 2 additional years of facing my reality that this relationship was never going anywhere, and taking the action to start healing myself and leaning on my Higher Power for guidance and comfort.
I have grown so much through this process, reading multiply books, and studying my inner most self, and finding out why I was doing some of the things I was doing, and I am so grateful for every "newcomers" on this forum, because it causes me to have to go back and put myself in the same place, that you are today, in order to give you the advise that helped me to get out of the quicksand of this insanity with my poa.
So I found a meditation that I hope will cause you to pause and think about this as well, I know I never really deep down thought I deserved anything good in life, and everything has always been a struggle in life for me, a lot of these struggles were of my on making, so always being in pain and suffering seemed like the norm to me, but what I know today, this is not the norm. We don't have to live with all of this pain any longer, and with recovery and working your recovery, you will find your peace as well. It might not seem like this today, and I remember those days as well, when I could not even get myself off of the couch to move, but I would force myself to, and to take the action that I believed would being the much needed relief that I so wanted, I know for the first 6 months to a year I was walking around in a fog most days, my head was spinning with so many obsessive thoughts about my poa, rehashing everything he said to me, trying to make sense of all the lies, that at the time I could not even accept that he was lying to me, my soul was totally crushed. I had to heal my soul before the real healing could begin. I felt like I had been put under someone else control, and did not know what to do, I had never been through anything like this before.
So with this being said, I want to share this meditation, and it is from, "Answers In The Heart", from Hazelden..
"Out of suffering have emerged the STRONGEST souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars."
When we are suffering, what do we do with it? Do we use it as a reason to abuse ourselves more, shame ourselves more, or hate ourselves more? Do we turn to our addictions to escape from the pain that is part of suffering? We have to feel our pain, in order to heal our pain.
When we are/were acting out in our addictions, we suffered, we felt pain, but we usually didn't understand why. THE SUFFERING AND PAIN THAT ACCOMPANIES RECOVERY IS DIFFERENT--it leads to HEALING, or it will if we LET IT. Sometimes we can turn our pain over to our Higher Power, trusting that our pain is there to help us GROW, and that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, nothing stays the same.
This can also help us to believe that our PAIN HAS A PURPOSE...
Our feelings, no matter how difficult some of them are to FEEL, are supported by the compassion we're learning to FEEL for ourselves and the compassion our Higher Power feels for us as well.
I can choose to look at my pain in the light of recovery. It WONT LAST FOREVER, and I will SURVIVE, and become a better person for going through this experience.
I hope this will give you some comfort today, as you are beginning this journey as well, I know for myself, I had about 3 meditation books that I would start my morning off with each day, I would go to meeting daily at first, I posted on this forum often, I would go to work daily, and I stayed sober through this whole ordeal, I had to learn how to deal with life on life's terms and I have to learn how to deal with my feelings without deadening my feelings, and yes it was a very painful process, but through this process I am able today to pass this on to others who are where I was, and this is step 12, helping others, also helps me to stay in the middle of my recovery ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Hugs
PS: Let me also add this, if you are in a physically, emotionally, sexually abusive relationship, this does not apply, you need to get to a safe place and let others help you. Being abused is NEVER acceptable in any situation.
I have grown so much through this process, reading multiply books, and studying my inner most self, and finding out why I was doing some of the things I was doing, and I am so grateful for every "newcomers" on this forum, because it causes me to have to go back and put myself in the same place, that you are today, in order to give you the advise that helped me to get out of the quicksand of this insanity with my poa.
So I found a meditation that I hope will cause you to pause and think about this as well, I know I never really deep down thought I deserved anything good in life, and everything has always been a struggle in life for me, a lot of these struggles were of my on making, so always being in pain and suffering seemed like the norm to me, but what I know today, this is not the norm. We don't have to live with all of this pain any longer, and with recovery and working your recovery, you will find your peace as well. It might not seem like this today, and I remember those days as well, when I could not even get myself off of the couch to move, but I would force myself to, and to take the action that I believed would being the much needed relief that I so wanted, I know for the first 6 months to a year I was walking around in a fog most days, my head was spinning with so many obsessive thoughts about my poa, rehashing everything he said to me, trying to make sense of all the lies, that at the time I could not even accept that he was lying to me, my soul was totally crushed. I had to heal my soul before the real healing could begin. I felt like I had been put under someone else control, and did not know what to do, I had never been through anything like this before.
So with this being said, I want to share this meditation, and it is from, "Answers In The Heart", from Hazelden..
"Out of suffering have emerged the STRONGEST souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars."
When we are suffering, what do we do with it? Do we use it as a reason to abuse ourselves more, shame ourselves more, or hate ourselves more? Do we turn to our addictions to escape from the pain that is part of suffering? We have to feel our pain, in order to heal our pain.
When we are/were acting out in our addictions, we suffered, we felt pain, but we usually didn't understand why. THE SUFFERING AND PAIN THAT ACCOMPANIES RECOVERY IS DIFFERENT--it leads to HEALING, or it will if we LET IT. Sometimes we can turn our pain over to our Higher Power, trusting that our pain is there to help us GROW, and that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, nothing stays the same.
This can also help us to believe that our PAIN HAS A PURPOSE...
Our feelings, no matter how difficult some of them are to FEEL, are supported by the compassion we're learning to FEEL for ourselves and the compassion our Higher Power feels for us as well.
I can choose to look at my pain in the light of recovery. It WONT LAST FOREVER, and I will SURVIVE, and become a better person for going through this experience.
I hope this will give you some comfort today, as you are beginning this journey as well, I know for myself, I had about 3 meditation books that I would start my morning off with each day, I would go to meeting daily at first, I posted on this forum often, I would go to work daily, and I stayed sober through this whole ordeal, I had to learn how to deal with life on life's terms and I have to learn how to deal with my feelings without deadening my feelings, and yes it was a very painful process, but through this process I am able today to pass this on to others who are where I was, and this is step 12, helping others, also helps me to stay in the middle of my recovery ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Hugs
PS: Let me also add this, if you are in a physically, emotionally, sexually abusive relationship, this does not apply, you need to get to a safe place and let others help you. Being abused is NEVER acceptable in any situation.
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