From Susan . . . take this article with a grain of salt. It is a generalization and I always suspect them a little. I am a borderline and treat them. This description does not fit any of them or myself. Borderlines self-mutilate and rage. They split (can only live in one reality at a time). I think there are 7 or 9 characteristic in the DSMIV. Just my opinion . . .
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
The DSM IV goes on to say:
The essential feature of Borderline Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Criterion 1). The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, affect, cognition, and behavior. These individuals are very sensitive to environmental circumstances. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger even when faced with a realistic time-limited separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans (e.g. sudden despair in reaction to a clinician’s announcing the end of the hour; panic of fury when someone important to them is just a few minutes late or must cancel an appointment). They may believe that this "abandonment" implies they are "bad." These abandonment fears are related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them. Their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment may include impulsive actions such as self-mutilating or suicidal behaviors, which are described separately in Criterion 5.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder have a pattern of unstable and intense relationships (Criterion 2). They may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not "there" enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will "be there" in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficent supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts often reflect disillusionment with a caregiver who nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected.
There may be an identity disturbance characterized by markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self (Criterion 3). There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or toxic, individuals with this disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.
Individuals with this disorder display impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (Criterion 4). They may gamble, spend money irresponsibly, binge eat, abuse substances, engage in unsafe sex, or drive recklessly. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder display recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior (Criterion 5). Completed suicide occurs in 8%-10% of such individuals, and self-mutilative acts (e.g., cutting or burning) and suicide threats and attempts are very common. Recurrent suicidality is often the reason that these individuals present for help. These self-destructive acts are usually precipitated by threats of separation or rejection or by expectations that they assume increased responsibility. Self-mutilation may occur during dissociative experiences and often brings relief by reaffirming the ability to feel or by expiating the individual’s sense of being toxic.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may display affective instability that is due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) (Criterion 6). The basic dysphoric mood of those with Borderline Personality Disorder is often disrupted by periods of anger, panic, or despair and is rarely relieved by periods of well-being or satisfaction. These episodes may reflect the individual’s extreme reactivity troubled by chronic feelings of emptiness (Criterion 7). Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder frequently express inappropriate, intense anger or have difficulty controlling their anger (Criterion 8). They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning. Such expressions of anger are often followed by shame and guilt and contribute to the feeling they have of being toxic. During periods of extreme stress, transient paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms (e.g., depersonalization) may occur (Criterion 9), but these are generally of insufficient severity or duration to warrant an additional diagnosis. These episodes occur most frequently in response to a real or imagined abandonment. Symptoms tend to be transient, lasting minutes or hours. The real or perceived return of the caregiver’s nurturance may result in a remission of symptoms.
Associated Features and Disorders
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may have a pattern of undermining themselves at the moment a goal is about to be realized (e.g., dropping out of school just before graduation; regressing severely after a discussion of how well therapy is going; destroying a good relationship just when it is clear that the relationship could last). Some individuals develop psychotic-like symptoms (e.g., hallucinations, body-image distortions, ideas of reference, and hypnotic phenomena) during times of stress. Individuals with this disorder may feel more secure with transitional objects (i.e., a pet or inanimate possession) than in interpersonal relationships. Premature death from suicide may occur in individuals with this disorder, especially in those with co-occurring Mood Disorders or Substance-Related Disorders. Physical handicaps may result from self-inflicted abuse behaviors or failed suicide attempts. Recurrent job losses, interrupted education, and broken marriages are common. Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss or separation are more common in the childhood histories of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Common co-occurring Axis I disorders include Mood Disorders, Substance-Related Disorders, Eating Disorders (notably Bulimia), Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder also frequently co-occurs with the other Personality Disorders.
Specific Culture, Age, and Gender Features
The pattern of behavior seen in Borderline Personality Disorder has been identified in many settings around the world. Adolescents and young adults with identity problems (especially when accompanied by substance abuse) may transiently display behaviors that misleadingly give the impression of Borderline Personality Disorder. Such situations are characterized by emotional instability, "existential" dilemmas, uncertainty, anxiety-provoking choices, conflicts about sexual orientation, and competing social pressures to decide on careers. Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed predominantly (about 75%) in females.
The prevalence of Borderline Personality Disorder is estimated to be about 2% of the general population, about 10% among individuals seen in outpatient mental health clinics, and about 20% among psychiatric inpatients. In ranges from 30% to 60% among clinical populations with Personality Disorders.
There is considerable variability in the course of Borderline Personality Disorder. The most common pattern is one of chronic instability in early adulthood, with episodes of serious affective and impulsive dyscontrol and high levels of use of health and mental health resources. The impairment from the disorder and the risk of suicide are greatest in the young-adult years and gradually wane with advancing age. During their 30s and 40s, the majority of individuals with this disorder attain greater stability in their relationships and vocational functioning.
Borderline Personality Disorder is about five times more common among first-degree biological relatives of those with the disorder than in the general population. There is also an increased familial risk for Substance-Related Disorders, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and Mood Disorders.
Borderline Personality Disorder often co-occurs with Mood Disorders, and when criteria for both are met, both may be diagnosed. Because the cross-sectional presentation of Borderline Personality Disorder can be mimicked by an episode of Mood Disorder, the clinician should avoid giving an additional diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder based only on cross-sectional presentation without having documented that the pattern of behavior has an early onset and a long-standing course.
Other Personality Disorders may be confused with Borderline Personality Disorder because they have certain features in common. It is, therefore, important to distinguish among these disorders based on differences in their characteristic features. However, if an individual has personality features that meet criteria for one or more Personality Disorders in addition to Borderline Personality Disorder, all can be diagnosed. Although Histrionic Personality Disorder can also be characterized by attention seeking, manipulative behavior, and rapidly shifting emotions, Borderline Personality Disorder is distinguished by self-destructiveness, angry disruptions in close relationships, and chronic feelings of deep emptiness and loneliness. Paranoid ideas or illusions may be present in both Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizotypal Personality Disorder, but these symptoms are more transient, interpersonally reactive, and responsive to external structuring in Borderline Personality Disorder. Although Paranoid Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder may also be characterized by an angry reaction to minor stimuli, the relative stability of self-image as well as the relative lack of self-destructiveness, impulsivity, and abandonment concerns distinguish these disorders from Borderline Personality Disorder. Although Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are both characterized by manipulative behavior, individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder are manipulative to gain profit, power, or some other material gratification, whereas the goal in Borderline Personality Disorder is directed more toward gaining the concern of caretakers. Both Dependent Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are characterized by fear of abandonment, however, the individual with Borderline Personality Disorder reacts to abandonment with feelings of emotional emptiness, rage, and demands, whereas the individual with Dependent Personality Disorder reacts with increasing appeasement and submissiveness and urgently seeks a replacement relationship to provide caregiving and support. Borderline Personality Disorder can further be distinguished from Dependent Personality Disorder by the typical pattern of unstable and intense relationships.
Borderline Personality Disorder must be distinguished from Personality Change Due to a General Medical Condition, in which the traits emerge due to the direct effects of a general medical condition on the central nervous system. It must also be distinguished from symptoms that may develop in association with chronic substance use (e.g., Cocaine-Related Disorder Not Otherwise Specified).
Borderline Personality Disorder should be distinguished from Identity Problem...which is reserved for identity concerns related to a developmental phase (e.g., adolescence) and does not qualify as a mental disorder."
Latent structure analysis of DSM-IV borderline personality disorder criteria.
Compr Psychiatry. 1999 Jan-Feb;40(1):72-9. Fossati A, Maffei C, Bagnato M, Donati D, Namia C, Novella L. Istituto Scientifico Ospedale San Raffaele, Department of Neuropsychiatric Sciences, University of Milan School of Medicine, Milano, Italy.
"The aim of this study was to evaluate the structure of DSM-IV borderline personality disorder (BPD) criteria. The study group consisted of 564 consecutively admitted inpatients and outpatients. BPD criteria discriminatory power was tested by using corrected item-to-total and item-to-diagnosis correlations. Weighted least-squares (WLS) confirmatory factor analysis (CFA) was used to assess the fit of DSM-IV BPD unidimensional model. The categorical model of BPD was tested by exploratory latent class analysis (LCA). Item analysis suggested a hierarchy in BPD criteria discriminatory power, even if with different rank order with respect to the DSM-IV model. CFA showed a unifactorial structure with congeneric items as the best fitting model for DSM-IV BPD criteria (chi2 = 18.89, df= 27, P > .87). LCA showed evidence for three latent classes; heterogeneity was observed only among subjects falling below DSM-IV diagnostic threshold for BPD. These results support the categorical model of BPD, even if with several differences with respect to DSM-IV." PubMed
Love addicts all suffered a difficult childhood. The abandonment/neglect leads to love addiction and the abuse/emotional incest leads to the love avoidance. All this should be part of your trauma inventory.
Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 28, 2014 14:11:57 GMT -8
A certain percentage of borderlines, including myself, have worked so hard to change that they graduate into what I call a "high-functioning borderline." Recovery is not impossible, but it is harder. Many times borderlines have to accept that they are not relationship material. I got lucky and found Frank. He has a high tolerance for my borderline personality whom I call my Outer Child or Gretchen.
You may be attracted to a borderline or love a borderline, but many times you have to do so from a distance. We all need love, but compatibility is more important when selecting a mate. As children we think we are looking for love. In recovery we have think I am looking for a loving partner not just for love. Love (limerence) is only part of it. I digress . . .
P.S. When you hurt her feelings a borderlines masks her pain with anger followed by retaliation. Everything is perceived as rejection even when someone is trying to be helpful or is simply too busy. Not returning an email becomes rejection, then abandonment, then age regression back to past abandonment then deep hurt then anger, retaliation and then finally guilt and sometimes self-mutilation---all is a split second.
Hi there Susan. I am afraid I do not understand what you have mentioned to me. I was attracted to men with BPD because of the toxic parents I had? What is the meaning of trauma inventory? Thank you for answering my questions. I did have a difficult childhood in terms of emotional enmeshment and abandonment at the same time. I am just curious of how this has made me to be attracted to only men with BPD.(In the past I did not even know what BPD was until my two exes and they were the hardest relationships to recover from, strangely, I felt like I was no different from them and could relate to them on a deep level, it was like I was addicted to the emotional pain they were causing me. Like it was something familiar but I did not know why)
From Susan . . . According to Harville Hendrix we are looking for our Imago and when we meet him or her we are attracted which leads to infatuation, romantic love, and sometimes obsession. Our Imago is a composite of our primary caretakers and the parts of our own personality which we have abandoned. This is all I know about why we are attracted to certain people. My father was weak and alcoholic. I was attracted to weak men with addictions and tried to fix them the way I tried to fix my dad. So take all this and combine our need to recreate the past hoping for a happier ending and maybe you can make sense of your situation.
A trauma inventory is a list of all the trauma you suffered at home, at school, and at church. My book explains what to do with it but the bottom line is you process the information.
Identify the trauma Write Talk (with enlightened witness) Feel all the main without self-medicating. Sometimes arrange a confrontation with people who traumatized you. Be careful. It may help or may re-traumatize you. Let go (forgive, accept) Move on past anger or whatever baggage you are carrying.
Please note that some therapists say you can skip giving up your anger. I disagree.
I think for the past couple of months I have been processing my trauma inventory in my head and trying to makes sense and eventually heal from it. I have been feeling all the pain without medicating and that is the difficult part. Just a couple of days ago I spoke to my brother about our mother's controlling ways of us, it certainly lifted a load off my shoulder and I just could breathe. After that talk, I felt like I could let go and forgive my mother without the blame game. The Imago concept is interesting in that my last ex was going through the childhood trauma and the feelings of anger against his mother, something in my childhood which I shoved deep inside my psyche, I suppose that was the aspect of him which I was attracted to. I felt that my helping him (unaware that this was codependent of me at that time) to make peace with his mother I felt satisfied, like I was doing something. Now I know why.