Post by careforme on May 22, 2014 20:50:57 GMT -8
My therapist gave me a homework assignment to look up abuse every time I want to contact my POA. I feel this was helping for a few days and now reading about abuse makes me feel like I'm the abuser rather than the abusee (is that the right word?)
I found a link that asked questions about the abuser, I found myself answering "no" to a lot of questions about my POA, I definitely would answer "yes" when thinking about my ex boyfriends. Anyway, I then began realizing that I have some abusive tendencies.
I put him down, I've let him know about his shortcomings, I ignore his feelings, emotions, thoughts, I blame him for my unhappiness, I disapprove of things he does/people he hangs out with, I feel like I've blamed him for a lot when it's all in my head or it's me being so angry at my exes. The list goes on...
So am I the abuser? Is he manipulating me? Am I also manipulating him? I mean he's told me that I'm better than him, he knows I'm more successful and I guess he has acknowledged it before... But I feel like I've shoved it in his face. I feel like ive done this way too much, I felt I could help him realize he can achieve so much more, but now that I think about it, I've been condescending and have put him down a lot. I can't remember many times where he's put me down or really made me feel small. I've done a lot to hurt him because I felt hurt.
Yea I'm confused, I'm feeling a bit guilty but not totally. I guess if I'm being abusive then I will feel horrible and need to change that behavior immediately.
I found a link that asked questions about the abuser, I found myself answering "no" to a lot of questions about my POA, I definitely would answer "yes" when thinking about my ex boyfriends. Anyway, I then began realizing that I have some abusive tendencies.
I put him down, I've let him know about his shortcomings, I ignore his feelings, emotions, thoughts, I blame him for my unhappiness, I disapprove of things he does/people he hangs out with, I feel like I've blamed him for a lot when it's all in my head or it's me being so angry at my exes. The list goes on...
So am I the abuser? Is he manipulating me? Am I also manipulating him? I mean he's told me that I'm better than him, he knows I'm more successful and I guess he has acknowledged it before... But I feel like I've shoved it in his face. I feel like ive done this way too much, I felt I could help him realize he can achieve so much more, but now that I think about it, I've been condescending and have put him down a lot. I can't remember many times where he's put me down or really made me feel small. I've done a lot to hurt him because I felt hurt.
Yea I'm confused, I'm feeling a bit guilty but not totally. I guess if I'm being abusive then I will feel horrible and need to change that behavior immediately.
