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Post by CodepNomore on Jun 18, 2014 21:11:00 GMT -8
A major component of recovery is taking care of one's needs. So we would not be like hungry, helpless, desperate individuals who turn to toxic people, places and things for attention, fantasy relationship, validation, etc. Neglecting our needs makes us vulnerable and susceptible to acting out or slipping. It keeps us addicted, obsessed or attached; blocking our way to freedom and moving forward.
Therefore, let us discuss this important recovery topic of taking care of our needs. Share your experience, insight, tips or whatever that is related to this topic. Thank you.
I take care of me by:
1. Spending time with my HP. Reading his book and praying.
2. Eating healthy foods and exercising regularly.
3. Socializing, meeting new people, and doing things I enjoy with my family and friends.
4. Attending meetings regularly
5. Reading books that would add up to my knowledge.
6. Learning new skills and developing existing ones.
7. Pampering myself with special treats once in a while such as buying my favorite stuff, traveling, having hair treatments, etc.
8. Evaluating my performance and creating new goals.
9. Getting to know myself better and expanding my horizon.
10. Volunteering and sharing what I have with those who need it.
How about you?
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Post by wip on Jun 18, 2014 22:48:01 GMT -8
I take care of me by:
- getting involved in my local Meetup group and help by organising events (helps me build platonic friendships with men which I was never able to do)
- get really into a new sport and play at least once or twice a week (have never been sporty)
- attend SLAA meetings at least 2 -3 times a week where I can share and stay open and honest
- keeping my finances in order by paying off my credit card ($3k left to go!) and not shopping when I'm feeling emotional
- stop trying to control everything and let some things go to my HP
Thanks codep for starting this post. It has made me realise how far I've come in my recovery!!
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Post by dhafirah on Jun 19, 2014 18:12:59 GMT -8
Wonderful post. These are great tips to help us understand what made us act out in the past. It's good to be aware of this all the time because although I am having good moments right now in my life, I know there will be times when it's tempting not to take care of myself. It's necessary to remind myself not blame the other person for not taking care of my needs but realize that I volunteered for the neglect.
Today, I ask God for Help and remind myself to be patient. I rely on Him during the moments when I am feeling vulnerable as well as the times I am feeling stronger. Sometimes I get scared when I feel a new strength because I am not used to it. But I have to trust God at those times too. I still sense my old self but I just try to nurture it and give it support. I check to see if I can give what I need to myself first. The internal road is still rough and bumpy at times but I am beginning to see why it's important to sit still and go for the ride. Not hiding behind an addiction and excuses, I am seeing who I really am.
As I single mother, I am also checking to make sure I do not transfer my vulnerability over in raising my children. I tell them I need private time. I also encourage them to have their own private times. I find myself doing what I want to and need to do without compromising my responsibility of successfully raising children. I make sure that their individual needs and desires are addressed as well. This may be a sacrifice on my part to some extent but it's a good sacrifice and does not change who I am.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jun 24, 2014 2:23:53 GMT -8
wip, I like how you are taking good care of you and being able to even engaged in a new sport is really huge. May I know what sport is that and how did you discover and learn it? dhafirah, first, I like your spirituality. (I truly admire people who live by their faith and conviction and have principled life such as Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Joyce Meyer, etc.) Second, how you are able to balance your responsibilities to yourself and children. Your children are lucky to have a good mom like you. And last but not the least, I noticed growth in your perspective. You were not the same as when you first came here. You are really doing so well. Thank you both for generously sharing your recovery. I hope others will take care of themselves too, enough to be steadfast in their walk. I am going to post in the positive thread a story about someone with a great attitude and who takes care of herself against all odds. Please feel free to share here anytime on how you are taking care of yourself. Thank you. PS: Right now, I am working to get sufficient sleep.
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Post by wip on Jun 24, 2014 5:01:24 GMT -8
Hi CodepNomore I am also working on getting sufficient sleep. I am always distracting myself by doing things at night and I need to learn to wind down at an appropriate hour. My new sport is tennis. I've always been slim but never fit. I wanted to get fitter but found gym so boring. So I thought, what better way than to learn a new sport. I used to play tennis with an old boyfriend and I liked it and always wanted to get better. I started tennis earlier in the year but would always get distracted by wanting to spend time with my poa or on my phone/Facebook. And I got annoyed that I was so bad. But now I've made a commitment to myself to play at least once or 2 times a week. I leave my phone at home when I go to tennis so I can't be distracted. And low and behold my tennis ability has improved so much compared to when I first started. |
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Post by CodepNomore on Jun 27, 2014 1:29:30 GMT -8
Engaging in a regular sport is a big help in recovery. So it is a good sign that you have indeed come a long way. Congratulations and thanks for sharing it.
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Post by dhafirah on Jul 7, 2014 15:03:45 GMT -8
Thanks codepnomore for your encouraging words. It's good to know any of my growth is noticeable. :-) I think you would be the one who knows based on the knowledge and wisdom you share on this forum.
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Post by James C T on Jul 8, 2014 7:17:08 GMT -8
I have started walking three miles a day. I have also noticed I need more sleep. Right now I'm trying to optimize physical health to improve my emotional health.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jul 10, 2014 3:58:05 GMT -8
dhafirah, thank you. I sincerely wish to see such progress from each one of us here. I just love this community. james C T, thanks for sharing. I enjoy (brisk) walking too. It does not cause orthopedic stress like running, especially on a treadmill. My sleeping is fine now. I recently joined a health club and been meeting new people. I have been noticing that I easily gain friends and others' trust..The more I take good care of myself, the better I feel inside and consequently, I treat others better, kinder. So glad about this.
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RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Jun 5, 2019 17:20:04 GMT -8
This is a good topic for me, because I go through periods of time where I’m downright mean to myself, and deny myself the care I need.
Here are some things I’m doing:
1 - Coming to this site daily and re-reading the 12 Steps.
2 - Praying daily.
3 - Going to other self-help websites, such as Psych Central and Anxiety & Depression Association of America.
4 - Working through “Keeping the Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix.
5 - Starting talk therapy tomorrow.
6 - Have an appointment with a psychiatrist for a meds check next month.
7 - Going to work, trying to be as good at the work as I can be, and getting along well with people.
8 - Budgeting my money and paying my bills promptly.
9 - Going to a weekly CoDA meeting, since the closest LAA meeting is about 100 miles away.
And here’s a couple that are actually fun, and feel good:
10 - Getting a massage once a month.
11 - Reading lots of good fiction books. Anything I want, plus whatever my book group assigns.
12 - Letting myself enjoy it when something good happens between me and my bf. Taking note of the good things that happen between us.
13 - Taking note of any other good things that happen. I think it’s very good for me to actively *look* for good things in my life, and list them, and go over the list often.
14 - Staying in touch with friends and family.
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