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Post by lisac30 on Jul 24, 2014 9:50:43 GMT -8
Hi I was dumped 2 days ago by my boyfriend. I feel really anxious and sick the whole time now and I think he might be seeing someone else. We didnt have sex often, as I am quite inexperienced and was nervous about it that was probably one of the reasons, He was a really a great guy, how do I get rid of that sick and anxious feeling and rebuild my self esteem
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Post by loverecluse on Jul 24, 2014 12:32:11 GMT -8
Hello,
First of all welcome to the boards. You've landed in a safe and caring place. Right now, you're probably in shock and a thousand things are going through your head i.e. Blaming yourself etc. remember that this is a process and it's going to be tough. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you have support? How are you feeling now?
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Post by CodepNomore on Jul 26, 2014 19:10:33 GMT -8
Welcome lisac30, I am sorry that you are going through this pain and self-doubt. I am sure we all have experienced a form of rejection and it hurts like hell so to speak. However, a person's choice is about him/herself and his/her priorities. We may be the hottest gals in town and yet still be rejected or dumped by a certain guy with a different personal preference. Just as we pick a product, service, person over another, depending on our needs, wants, etc., so do others can freely make their own decisions. We may not know the reason behind your BF's decision, nevertheless, we have to respect it. The worst thing you can do now is to try to convince, persuade or beg him to change his mind and return to you. While the most dignified response you can make now is to let him go and take care of your needs. Keep us posted. You are not alone. We care about you. |
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Post by allformekids on Jul 27, 2014 20:00:05 GMT -8
I am so sorry to hear that. At this time there seems that there is nothing that could be worse. But a little tid bit of info that helped me was to not just to make it through the day but start making it through the minutes. Because they do add up and you will get there.
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Post by lisac30 on Aug 5, 2014 10:18:20 GMT -8
Hi all thanks for your response I do have some support but I feel realy anxious and panicky at the thought of him being with someone else. Sometimes I just want to contact him but I know I cant. I feel such abandonment. does anyone know how to get rid of this feeling? thanks
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Aug 5, 2014 14:59:22 GMT -8
There is only one way to get rid of the anxious and panicky feeling of abandonment, and that is to be brave enough to embrace it. That feeling is like a very young child. It needs to be felt and loved, not pushed away. It's paradoxical- to be free of pain one has to really feel it.
When you sit alone and give yourself permission to feel, you may cry and shake and come close to a feeling that seems intolerable. If you can hold yourself and love yourself through, you will emerge out the other side, changed. Keep being brave like this and your whole world will change into one where amazing things happen to you and you give yourself to life in a more full way. Good luck!
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Post by sexlessw on Aug 6, 2014 13:53:03 GMT -8
lisac30:
What Jacarandagirl said. I'll add my 25 cents worth - there is the physical feeling of withdrawal. Especially since you were with him for some time (not sure how long you were with him). When we form relationships, BF/GF, friendship, parent/child, the chemicals in our minds are created - bonding chemicals. PEA is one of them. Once the relationship ends, the literal withdrawal begins.
It takes the good-old fashioned TIME to get through this. Stick with your support network, divert your thoughts as much as possible (I'm thinking more towards going out, even when you DO NOT want to, going to see a mindless film or read a mindless book stuff in that vein.
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Post by lisac30 on Sept 6, 2014 2:18:35 GMT -8
thanks very much for all your comments its nearly 2 months now and im finding it really hard to enjoy anything, I keep obsessing about what hes doing and looking at the pic of the new girl I think hes with it makes it worse that everyone else says its realy sad we broke up as we were really happy together and he seemed to really like me im afraid I will feel like this forever has anyone else been through a similar experience any more advice thanks!
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Post by wahinewha on Sept 7, 2014 13:46:23 GMT -8
Great to see you are still posting Lisa, I hope you are doing alot of reading on the site, just by disciplining yourself to 5 minutes of reading can be life changing. Many many of us have been through severe withdrawal we have weathered through to see light at the end of the tunnel. And a nice bright comforting light at that.
Your support system is still in place? Councillor? LAA group?
You are doing great, one foot in front of the other is a great achievement. Stay with us, we are all on your side, a side of self discovery, self nurturing and love for the little girl inside us all.
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Post by loveanimals on Sept 7, 2014 21:27:15 GMT -8
Hi lisa,
No Contact literally does help, and that means to not look at the pic of the new girl. Block his social media, his texts, anything where you might be subject to the meetings, plus wahinewha's advice above.
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