positive thinking through pain

I am a love addict who has serially cheated in one form or another on my husband for several years. I have been in recovery for just over eight months. Really working on this. I wrote a few days ago about my husband shutting me out emotionally, verbally, etc for nearly the past two weeks (we were moving forward and doing pretty well until all of a sudden - literally, like a switch flipped). He is still here physically. I am here. I am committed to healing and to the marriage. But living with this pain  and upheaval has me looking to numb out. I am exercising, praying, gourging on Pema Chodrin, and so on.....this is getting harder with each passing day, though....