Post by lyra on Sept 20, 2014 17:06:37 GMT -8
I'm unsure as if any other love addicts feel this way, or feel it as strong as this as a prominent feature of their LA. At first I thought this was most akin to limerence, but I'm not sure how much it can apply to love addicts too.
I generally try to find "alone time" when I fantasize romantically, (almost as though the "high" is self-induced), and it's always usually in bed unless I need to "escape" to somewhere more private if I get tearful.
I usually write down my feelings and write down how I hope to live with my partner and show love.
I always have this sense of "there is so, so much more to life than this", and this sense that daily living is not even living at all, and the only way for me to truly be alive is to love as passionately and all-encompassingly as I feel inside. - The liberation to share, show and express love the way I feel comes most naturally to me. I feel like "the true me" only really rises to the surface during such fantasies. It is an experience that takes hold of me emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I feel it especially in my throat, chest, stomach, lower abdomen, and legs. And the rest of my body feels either like it has turned into flickering flames under my skin, or a sort of "glittery" sensation just beneath the surface of my skin. (I realize this sounds silly, but I don't know where else I can speak about things like this without most other people rolling their eyes at me).
One of the things I wrote recently was this.
(I draw specific attention to health because in recent times, it has suffered).
I outline the things I would love to do the most. This is very, very hard for me to post, so I ask you please be gentle if you respond to it. I will likely find it hard to take criticism of my feelings, but realize the truth - even if painful - is still necessary to trying to overcome this.
I feel ashamed and like a bad person for writing about becoming "addicted to one another" and such, but I can't seem to properly get my heart to acknowledge it as a bad thing.
I feel trapped inside my own body.
After I've experienced magnificent highs of bliss and heavenly euphoria, I feel like inside I can only mull over this enough until it just collapses in on me, and the reality of my life and the way things are slams me back down to Earth.
Does anyone relate to this at all?
I generally try to find "alone time" when I fantasize romantically, (almost as though the "high" is self-induced), and it's always usually in bed unless I need to "escape" to somewhere more private if I get tearful.
I usually write down my feelings and write down how I hope to live with my partner and show love.
I always have this sense of "there is so, so much more to life than this", and this sense that daily living is not even living at all, and the only way for me to truly be alive is to love as passionately and all-encompassingly as I feel inside. - The liberation to share, show and express love the way I feel comes most naturally to me. I feel like "the true me" only really rises to the surface during such fantasies. It is an experience that takes hold of me emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I feel it especially in my throat, chest, stomach, lower abdomen, and legs. And the rest of my body feels either like it has turned into flickering flames under my skin, or a sort of "glittery" sensation just beneath the surface of my skin. (I realize this sounds silly, but I don't know where else I can speak about things like this without most other people rolling their eyes at me).
One of the things I wrote recently was this.
(I draw specific attention to health because in recent times, it has suffered).
I outline the things I would love to do the most. This is very, very hard for me to post, so I ask you please be gentle if you respond to it. I will likely find it hard to take criticism of my feelings, but realize the truth - even if painful - is still necessary to trying to overcome this.
- Give up smoking together. Replace every urge to smoke with kisses. Feel our hearts grow stronger as we become addicted to one another.
- Share fruit together. Relish the feeling that we are helping extend our lives and so will be able to experience more and more and more of this bliss.
- Hold hands everywhere we go. - If either one needs to escape reality, the gentlest tug is enough to let the other one know. (If he squeezes your hand, don't worry about your lightheadedness / breathlessness).
- Discover "safe spots" - beautiful, natural places to hide away together and surrender freely if it gets too much.
- When we yearn hard to be as close to one another as possible, share kisses in which we breathe in one anothers exhaled breaths.
- Pick flowers for one another which symbolize certain things, represent an offer to do a certain thing, or as a reminder of something wonderful due to happen.
- Unlearn the quick glance away when the need to gaze calls.
- Unlearn the shame and want to hide tears of love or joy.
- Unlearn the petrification of complete and total enchantment - don't jump to stop your heart from falling. Let the bliss of it wash over you rather than be frightened of it.
- Confess every enchanted thought to one another.
- Don't be afraid to let him know how you worship his happiness; - Don't be afraid to ask him what he would like most in the world, so you can give it to him.
- If what he wants most is you, and you, him; spoil one another. Forget hours, or days...
- Never underestimate the power your smile and laughter has on your love; they are sometimes the most incredible gifts to share.
- Share fruit together. Relish the feeling that we are helping extend our lives and so will be able to experience more and more and more of this bliss.
- Hold hands everywhere we go. - If either one needs to escape reality, the gentlest tug is enough to let the other one know. (If he squeezes your hand, don't worry about your lightheadedness / breathlessness).
- Discover "safe spots" - beautiful, natural places to hide away together and surrender freely if it gets too much.
- When we yearn hard to be as close to one another as possible, share kisses in which we breathe in one anothers exhaled breaths.
- Pick flowers for one another which symbolize certain things, represent an offer to do a certain thing, or as a reminder of something wonderful due to happen.
- Unlearn the quick glance away when the need to gaze calls.
- Unlearn the shame and want to hide tears of love or joy.
- Unlearn the petrification of complete and total enchantment - don't jump to stop your heart from falling. Let the bliss of it wash over you rather than be frightened of it.
- Confess every enchanted thought to one another.
- Don't be afraid to let him know how you worship his happiness; - Don't be afraid to ask him what he would like most in the world, so you can give it to him.
- If what he wants most is you, and you, him; spoil one another. Forget hours, or days...
- Never underestimate the power your smile and laughter has on your love; they are sometimes the most incredible gifts to share.
I feel ashamed and like a bad person for writing about becoming "addicted to one another" and such, but I can't seem to properly get my heart to acknowledge it as a bad thing.
I feel trapped inside my own body.
After I've experienced magnificent highs of bliss and heavenly euphoria, I feel like inside I can only mull over this enough until it just collapses in on me, and the reality of my life and the way things are slams me back down to Earth.
Does anyone relate to this at all?
