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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2014 10:41:59 GMT -8
So far today has been a good day.I am learning to count simple pleasures and small victories. It is all about problems and solutions. Some days my emotions take over my ability to surrender to delayed gratification. My inner child runs rampit. I allow my fear of the unknown to render me powerless. Others like today I can peek out from under the blinding veil of emotions and depression in my mind. If my adult side that knows whats best for me wins more of these fights my life will begin to change for the better. What are some motivation factors that keep you guys strong during your recovery process? 
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Post by havefaith on Nov 5, 2014 13:24:15 GMT -8
My greatest motivation is my HP. Through prayer, I work to align my will to my HP's will for me. Mine is a spiritual journey right now. Also -- I was (still am) in intense psychodynamic therapy to get to the root cause of why I was addicted in the first place. When I finally faced my chaotic upbringing (including covert incest) and the truth of how it led to love addiction, I was finally able to feel the pain/anger/sadness and grieve -- and stop numbing my feelings with addictive acting out behaviors.
Prayer motivates me. My HP motivates me. TRUTH motivates me.
HaveFaith
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Post by havefaith on Nov 5, 2014 16:22:24 GMT -8
I do want to add this as one of my greatest motivators in terms of keeping me strong during recovery. Addiction does not just affect the addict. It is not a solitary activity; it has a ripple effect and everyone in the addict's world eventually feels the effects of their loved one's actions. Innocent people can get hurt due to MY behaviors.
My actions affect others. My addiction affects others. It is not all about me. I must never, ever forget that.
HaveFaith
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2014 16:31:46 GMT -8
Thank you for sharing your story. In understanding and acknowledging that we are in fact not the only ones affected by our addiction, how to we deal with emotions of guilt and regret ?
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Post by havefaith on Nov 5, 2014 16:43:02 GMT -8
For me -- four ways.
First (and foremost) -- Stop acting out!
Second --I have a strong spiritual faith. I believe in the power of forgiveness, and I have asked for mercy, compassion and forgiveness from my HP (the Holy Trinity).
Third -- Follow the Golden Rule (treat others as you would wish to be treated).
Fourth -- Move forward by living a life of truth and grace. HaveFaith
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2014 19:20:25 GMT -8
The AA Big Book has some good wisdom here, called "the promises" (this is from memory so may not be 100% accurate, but notice what it says about regret):
If we are painstaking about this phase of our recovery, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellow. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
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Post by CodepNomore on Nov 6, 2014 0:32:20 GMT -8
There are many motivation factors that keep me strong in my life as a whole (not only in recovery) but I will just share some of the major here:
First and foremost, the enduring love and faithfulness of God that never cease and his wondrous promises, such as: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Second, having an eternal or long-term perspective. Knowing that the only things that have eternal values and won't perish are the ones that focused on the things above. So I "do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life." In simple term, I go for the ones that have long-term benefits and avoid the ones that only feed the appetite of fantasy and addiction.
Third, knowing the truth has set me free. I hold on to the words of truth day by day and so it is easy for me to know if it's the Truth speaking or the Father of Lies. I know my Shepherd voice and only him will I follow.
Last, but not the least, I am so grateful to my Creator for all the things that he has done. So I am too happy to take care of my well-being in the best possible way. And so my standard becomes high; my selection is not anymore between good or bad, but between good and best, or between healthy and healthiest.
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Post by sexlessw on Nov 6, 2014 7:11:44 GMT -8
MaddysMom:
You asked in your initial post: "What are some motivation factors that keep you guys strong during your recovery process?"
For me, it's not having somebody who is no longer in my life have a say in how I run my life. This means no more thinking "xPoA would love this. What would xPoA think of this?"
My son and husband. If I fall away, become unavailable through fantasy, reaching out to a PoA, I am not available to live in reality. My reality is my family. My son and husband deserve a mother/wife who provides for them and cares about them. I put a high value in maintaining my family. No xPoA is worth losing them.
Knowing there are others, such as yourself, who are hurting, wanting to help themselves. It is good to reach out for help. It's also good to help others, when you are able, who are in the struggle. When I read your posts I see myself at certain times and I remember feeling lonely and misunderstood. I don't like seeing people like that! Helping others helps ourselves when we are ready to do so.
Keeping my body healthy. I've always worked out. It helps blunt some of my sadness when my thoughts turn to xOM. After the workout, I feel much better - then I have to come home and clean my house (ha ha ha).
Interacting with other people. Something toxic xOM told me years ago stuck with me. He once said, "I'm always smiling. Nobody wants to deal with somebody who is always frowning." Even if you DO NOT feel like it, listen to others, be courteous and smile at them. When you're in the withdrawal phase, that is near impossible to do. But even one interaction with somebody will get you a moment out of the withdrawal.
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Post by loveelleng on Nov 20, 2017 11:12:35 GMT -8
There are many motivation factors that keep me strong in my life as a whole (not only in recovery) but I will just share some of the major here: First and foremost, the enduring love and faithfulness of God that never cease and his wondrous promises, such as: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Second, having an eternal or long-term perspective. Knowing that the only things that have eternal values and won't perish are the ones that focused on the things above. So I " do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life." In simple term, I go for the ones that have long-term benefits and avoid the ones that only feed the appetite of fantasy and addiction. Third, knowing the truth has set me free. I hold on to the words of truth day by day and so it is easy for me to know if it's the Truth speaking or the Father of Lies. I know my Shepherd voice and only him will I follow. Last, but not the least, I am so grateful to my Creator for all the things that he has done. So I am too happy to take care of my well-being in the best possible way. And so my standard becomes high; my selection is not anymore between good or bad, but between good and best, or between healthy and healthiest.💐💐💐💐💐🌷🌷🌷🌷
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