|
|
Post by moonlitvein on Jan 8, 2015 2:05:10 GMT -8
Lately for the last couple of months I have been spending a lot of time reading different self help articles. By "lot of time" I mean almost the entire morning and afternoon. Sometimes the evening too. No doubt it has of course helped me but it has also become a kind of routine which I do compulsively most of the time. Have been spending a lot of time in this support group too.
Just read Susan's link on the pleasure principle and the repetition compulsion. There is a lot of feel good factor in reading self help literature. It makes me feel nice that I'm doing constructive reading. But often that is all I am doing and nothing else! Yesterday I felt I should take a break from it for two days but today morning I started reading again from this board and have been at it since 10.30 am till 3.30 pm. I couldn't stop myself in the morning.
Can't stop myself even when I feel I need/want/should do other work?
Does this mean I am addicted to reading self help articles. Is this an unhealthy obsession when it should actually be otherwise?
Someone please tell me.
Thanks
Moonlitvein |
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 8, 2015 15:13:29 GMT -8
Does this mean I am addicted to reading self help articles. I personally do not believe the word "addiction" applies to something that is helping you. I would prefer the word focus. Your energy to read will ebb soon enough. Take advantage of your interest while your energy lasts. The word addiction would only apply if you are doing something to harm yourself and cannot stop. I was obsessed with meetings in early recovery. That passed. I went though a period when I was obsessed with my Higher Power. That passed. I think you should call your situation enthusiasm and enjoy it. Of course, if you neglect to feed the kids so you can read . . . well that would be different. Only you know where enthusiasm ends and a loss of control begins. I love to read. I could not afford therapy, so self-help books saved me and educated me. I have a masters degree in self-help books. I even write them. Smile. |
|
|
|
Post by moonlitvein on Jan 8, 2015 23:20:38 GMT -8
HI SUSAN, Thanks a lot for writing back. Well! Kids are not a problem since I don't have any... yet. But I do have my mother whom I need to help out with some things like, run errands etc. Since my nature is to procrastinate (ONE OF MY BIGGEST PROBLEM), I have ended up avoiding some home care duties & such things. So here's what I did to solve the issue today. I read your post & then went on to finish tasks which needed to get done & now I'm back again replying to you. So basically I think the solution is to set a time regarding all the tasks that need to get done & then I'll sit down to read. I love your inspiring writings. Have been reading. In one of the addiction articles on psych central four stages of an addict are described in which the concept of "acting out" has been mentioned; from which relief is derived and again results in pain. Can you explain what's meant by "acting out" ? I consider fantasizing to be one of my biggest addiction where I actually talk aloud & "act out" a situation within the closed doors of my room. It's been there since childhood. From my recent readings I also understood that I engage in maladaptive daydreaming. I derive pleasure from the acting out but then of course hate it (pain) coz I realize it has sapped all my energy. The fantasies almost always involve my PoA & these days it is also my past workplace which I have left. I obviously am unable to let go of the past. I try to tackle this an hour/sometimes half an hour at a time. CURRENTLY READING UP ON SELF ESTEEM. BUT ANY OTHER ADVICE FROM YOU ON CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION REGARDING THE ABOVE WILL HELP  Thanks so much for all the book lists you have given us in many threads. A very happy 2015 to you. Smiling now after your encouraging reply, Moonlitvein |
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 9, 2015 10:07:12 GMT -8
Moonlitvein: Thank you for your kind words. I didn't people actually followed my advice. Congratuations on your progress. "Acting Out" is a psychiatric term I believe. It describes all the negative things we do to cry out for help. It can also describe self-destructive things like addiction. So a child is not getting enough attention and she has a tantrum. This is acting out. If a parent just punishes the child they miss the point. My son's first therapist in kindergarten (they said if I did not take him he would be expelled) told me that his tantrums and fighting with other kinds were "acting out." They were just starting to use self-help terms and so they said he was addicted to getting negative attention because I was giving all my time to my obedient child. As we get older "acting out" includes all kinds of addictions. My first psychiatric analysis said I was "acting out" to displace depression. He explained that I, without realizing it, was adept at getting people to dislike me as negative attention was better than none. It would be good for everyone to list the ways they "act out" and find more positive things to do with their life. So I think it is a general term for all the things we do because we are suffering and don't know how to ask for help including things that are self-destructive like cutting. |
|
|
|
Post by moonlitvein on Jan 10, 2015 23:49:13 GMT -8
Thanks a lot for explaining this Susan I am going to make that list. And of course people follow your advice. No doubts about it. I've been realizing so many things after reading your definitions & descriptions about love addiction & also this thread on other addictions. You attach lovely images... including the flowers & hearts. My gratitudes for this support group, Moonlitvein |
|
