beyonce
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formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 17, 2015 20:32:18 GMT -8
i keep eating and eating until i feel disgusting and sick and i'm begging myself not to eat anymore but i do anyway.
i don't know what to do and i don't know what's wrong with me.
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Post by LovelyJune on Jan 18, 2015 5:05:12 GMT -8
More than ADDICTS (addicts of food, love, alcohol, shopping etc.) we are AVOIDANTS of ourselves. Figure out what you are avoiding and face it. It is the most direct route to fixing any addiction.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 18, 2015 6:25:09 GMT -8
There are different types of eating problem and one of them was mentioned by LovelyJune. It falls under the category of "preventative eating". You are afraid, anxious, or uncomfortable about something; it could be related to a person, situation, condition, stuff, etc., that makes you turn to foods instead of facing whatever it is. Until finally, it becomes a formed habit already. Changing your coping mechanism can help.
I could see that you have more than a few problem areas. The good news is that there are available solutions to it. But it is a long process and requires serious commitment. So I would suggest to get a professional service so he/she can focus on you. (I would recommend a "female" here than a "male", since there are more females suffering from "body image" and so they can relate better, in my opinion.) As I have said I used to have these problems too. Hence, I know very well what you are going through. I know how tough it is. For me, it is even harder than love addiction because you need foods or to eat in order to survive.
When I have free time, I might try to share more infos here and there. Because I am planning to chair a meeting at my workplace that would also tackle this issue.
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 18, 2015 19:20:23 GMT -8
i get anxious about losing control and the more anxious i get about it the more i'm like 'well i'll probably just eat a ton anyway' so then i do and i get so unhappy afterward. i'm afraid of over eating and then the minute i get a craving i get anxious and i give up control.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 19, 2015 11:22:26 GMT -8
i keep eating and eating until i feel disgusting and sick and i'm begging myself not to eat anymore but i do anyway. i don't know what to do and i don't know what's wrong with me. As an infant I ate to live and I learned to love food. When I was a child my mother gave me sugar so I would go out and play and leave her alone. I got addicted to sugar and starting stealing candy bars. I ate and ate no matter how full I was because I was trying to feed my hungry heart. Food was my major coping mechanism until I had my nervous breakdown at the age of 32. Then I became anorexic and then bulimic. I understand food addiction. At age 55 I lost 150 lbs. I did it by going to Overeaters Anonymous every day after work and following the food plan created by me and my sponsor. Withdrawal was painful. When I could not have second and third helpings I broke down in tears. I got suicidal and decided life was not work living without food. One year later I had a spiritual experience and my obsession with food was lifted. I now maintain the 150 lbs I lost. I did not exercise. It was all about the demons for me. The addiction. For the last 10 years I have weighed my normal weight. I weigh everyday and any pound I gain I take off immediately. But most of all, normal portions are all I want. I am now what I always wanted to be: a normal eater. There is help out there but for the most part it is all about facing the withdrawal as if you were going to war. Cry, scream, but follow that food plan. I hear your pain. You can do it.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 19, 2015 19:39:57 GMT -8
beyonce, aside from "fear of failure", that behavior is also a shade of being a "perfectionist". When someone makes a standard, plan, that is unrealistic at a certain point; psychologically, he/she will 'rebel' against it and sabotage it. That is why in goal-setting, S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.) goal is highly recommended. So regardless of how one may feel, he/she will work on it to achieve it. Generally, the more scientific or modern wellness a program is, weight-watching is not anymore recommended as the end-goal (except in cases such as the bodyweight becomes too heavy for the joints to bear it.) For better understanding, let me give an example...There are so-called, "overweights" due to their high LBM (Lean Body Mass) and low BF (Body fat) content, but are in superb health condition. On the other hand, there are so-called, "normal" to "underweights" who are in actuality "obese" due to low percentage of LBM and high percentage of BF. Since muscle mass weighs more than fats. So that scientific fact alone would lead to a more sensible approach of incorporating active lifestyle (exercises) and focusing on overall health or total wellness instead of mere bodyweight. (They are combined to function synergistically, anyway.) This is a very broad subject to discuss here. However, in most cases, "Body Image" or how you view yourself is the main issue here. Unhealthy or poor body image is basically the underlying cause of most eating problems and disorders. So it would be a good start to restore or create a healthy relationship with your body. You can start journaling your food intake to watch your "eating behavior". Put aside first its Kilocalories content or other "symptoms", since they are just a by-product of your relationship with your body or body image. I believe in treating the real cause than just the superficial symptoms, so it would be a long-term, life-changing experience. (Please note that as a director leading a team of professionals, I am only sharing informations here. It is never intended to be taken against anyone's point of view or as a personal attack.)
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 20, 2015 15:45:28 GMT -8
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 22, 2015 18:48:28 GMT -8
i got an over eating workbook. i don't think it's an addiction so much as perfectionism, like codepnomore said. i also have a couple of books on body image that i got. i haven't over eaten as badly as the night i wrote this. i haven't felt overly full or anything, and i actually haven't eaten an unreasonable amount, so i think the problem lies in my anxiety about over eating and gaining weight and body image.
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 22, 2015 18:52:35 GMT -8
beyonce, aside from "fear of failure", that behavior is also a shade of being a "perfectionist". When someone makes a standard, plan, that is unrealistic at a certain point; psychologically, he/she will 'rebel' against it and sabotage it. That is why in goal-setting, S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.) goal is highly recommended. So regardless of how one may feel, he/she will work on it to achieve it. Generally, the more scientific or modern wellness a program is, weight-watching is not anymore recommended as the end-goal (except in cases such as the bodyweight becomes too heavy for the joints to bear it.) For better understanding, let me give an example...There are so-called, "overweights" due to their high LBM (Lean Body Mass) and low BF (Body fat) content, but are in superb health condition. On the other hand, there are so-called, "normal" to "underweights" who are in actuality "obese" due to low percentage of LBM and high percentage of BF. Since muscle mass weighs more than fats. So that scientific fact alone would lead to a more sensible approach of incorporating active lifestyle (exercises) and focusing on overall health or total wellness instead of mere bodyweight. (They are combined to function synergistically, anyway.) This is a very broad subject to discuss here. However, in most cases, "Body Image" or how you view yourself is the main issue here. Unhealthy or poor body image is basically the underlying cause of most eating problems and disorders. So it would be a good start to restore or create a healthy relationship with your body. You can start journaling your food intake to watch your "eating behavior". Put aside first its Kilocalories content or other "symptoms", since they are just a by-product of your relationship with your body or body image. I believe in treating the real cause than just the superficial symptoms, so it would be a long-term, life-changing experience. (Please note that as a director leading a team of professionals, I am only sharing informations here. It is never intended to be taken against anyone's point of view or as a personal attack.) i should be looking at my weight loss as more of a health issue, and i should be focusing more on health but every time i eat well and exercise it always turns into getting my stomach smaller and looking good and then i fall off the wagon and it takes so long to get my head focused back on health. i like working out, i genuinely do, but i hate what i turn it into.
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Post by James C T on Jan 23, 2015 7:38:24 GMT -8
i like working out, i genuinely do, but i hate what i turn it into. That's a key point you need to focus on, IMO. I have had a tendency to take things I enjoy and turn them into work with the rules I have in my head. You're allowed to have fun. Enjoy your workout and any time you catch yourself saying "I should" in conjunction with something that you're trying to enjoy, dismiss the thought. There are no shoulds when enjoying yourself.
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 23, 2015 21:24:41 GMT -8
i like working out, i genuinely do, but i hate what i turn it into. That's a key point you need to focus on, IMO. I have had a tendency to take things I enjoy and turn them into work with the rules I have in my head. You're allowed to have fun. Enjoy your workout and any time you catch yourself saying "I should" in conjunction with something that you're trying to enjoy, dismiss the thought. There are no shoulds when enjoying yourself. ! ! ! wow i do that with everything i like to do and then i stop doing it!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 23, 2015 22:19:46 GMT -8
Do you know why do you stop? And what are those specific exercises or physical activities that you enjoy doing? How did you start them?
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 24, 2015 0:45:50 GMT -8
Do you know why do you stop? And what are those specific exercises or physical activities that you enjoy doing? How did you start them? i usually stop because i'm like 'ok i have to get pretty and thin by this date' and then it's too much pressure and i stop. i rly like doing the elliptical and listening to music. i started doing the elliptical because there was an elliptical in my house lol
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Post by LovelyJune on Jan 24, 2015 6:09:12 GMT -8
I now own and operate a smoothie bar inside a fitness center. I have an entirely new perspective on working out. The people that literally kill themselves overtraining, just so they can eat a piece of cake once a week are by far the saddest people at the gym. These people work out 4-7x a week (and do high impact cardio and weight lifting) are not the happiest people at the gym. In fact, they're always rather frustrated and disgruntled and they have the mentality that they're always shy of reaching their goals. They are never thin enough, pretty enough, good enough. I feel sorry for them. Then, There are others who work out 4-7x a week, but they stop, talk, socialize, sometimes take it easy. They are the happiest. The gym is not only their place to exercise, it is where they come to socialize and maintain close friendships. And then there are the people who come 1-2x a week or even a month and don't exactly take their health goals seriously. They're not the happiest people either. But, believe it or not, they are still slightly happier than the folks who kill themselves.
Working out and exercising is a LIFESTYLE. It's a world unto itself. is not a temporary fix for weight loss. You cannot and should not enter into this world simply to fit into a dress you'd like to wear at your sister's wedding. If you do that, you'll never feel wholly comfortable in this world. You'l feel like an outsider, a visitor. But, when you make a commitment to join a healthy community--a gym, a fitness center, a running group, a road bike club, a hiking club, things change. When we have a vested interest and a commitment to a group that share the same values, we are more likely to remain a part of that group. This is why Weight Watchers works so well, and AA and "groups" in general. Because there is accountability; there is camaraderie.
I was NEVER a joiner. And I had very little respect for community. But since opening this smoothie bar, and seeing how members of the club and customers are dependent upon my drinks and my info on nutrition I have come to feel a sense of duty and accountability. Not to myself but to others. And in this sense of accountability to others, I have become healthier myself.
So....get out of your head. Lose the pressure to achieve and be something only for your sake. Become part of something that is far greater than you alone and watch the transformation. This doesn't happen over night. It happens over MONTHS. This is why making a solid commitment is so important. Not only will the group hold you accountable to your health, YOU will hold you accountable to your health.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 24, 2015 9:09:26 GMT -8
beyonce, I agree that you would be better off with a support system and/or an accountability partner, that is why I have asked you before if you have one. But there are two general types of people who join a club, educational program, etc., those who prefer a group setting and those who would rather have a one-on-one. Each has its own advantages. It just a matter of individual choice. It seems to me at this point, (especially, if you currently have social anxiety) you prefer the latter. Do you enjoy any other activity aside from Elliptical trainer? How about dancing? Because it is better to have a variety. It is common for women, especially for the younger ones, to want a quick result and to get into a health/fitness program only for a season. But that only promotes "yo-yo syndrome", and sudden weight loss and weight gain harms the body and slows down your metabolism. (This is too long to write about. I prefer to speak than to write. So I could only share little every now and then. I will continue here another time.) LovelyJune, wow, congratulations! That is nice to know. I am just wondering, how come those members are "overtraining" (unless they are preparing for a competition and are in-season training)? Because supposed to be they are properly informed and guided by the staff of that center. Every member should be given a proper orientation and it is the club's duty to educate its members continually.
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beyonce
New Member
formerly amywinehouse
Posts: 28
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Post by beyonce on Jan 24, 2015 9:33:27 GMT -8
beyonce, I agree that you would be better off with a support system and/or an accountability partner, that is why I have asked you before if you have one. But there are two general types of people who join a club, educational program, etc., those who prefer a group setting and those who would rather have a one-on-one. Each has its own advantages. It just a matter of individual choice. It seems to me at this point, (especially, if you currently have social anxiety) you prefer the latter. Do you enjoy any other activity aside from Elliptical trainer? How about dancing? Because it is better to have a variety. It is common for women, especially for the younger ones, to want a quick result and to get into a health/fitness program only for a season. But that only promotes "yo-yo syndrome", and sudden weight loss and weight gain harms the body and slows down your metabolism. (This is too long to write about. I prefer to speak than to write. So I could only share little every now and then. I will continue here another time.) LovelyJune, wow, congratulations! That is nice to know. I am just wondering, how come those members are "overtraining" (unless they are preparing for a competition and are in-season training)? Because supposed to be they are properly informed and guided by the staff of that center. Every member should be given a proper orientation and it is the club's duty to educate its members continually. i don't have a lot of people in my life who are into taking care of themselves :\ i like the elliptical because i can do it inside my house where no one can see me other than that i do youtube workouts
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Post by LovelyJune on Jan 24, 2015 11:38:53 GMT -8
beyonce, great time in your life to start finding NEW friends who value health and working out.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 26, 2015 9:36:31 GMT -8
beyonce, I also started getting into fitness program all by myself. In fact, decades have passed but up to this point, "I still don't have a lot of people in my life who are into taking care of themselves." So I am with you there. You are not alone. You can do it at your own pace; no pressure, no hurry. But you know what keeps me going? Being healthy makes me feel great. It is nice to have all kinds of medical check-up, fitness assessments, etc., and be told that "you have a very healthy body." I can do whatever I want to do with so much ease. So beyond its outward result, it also gives me a healthy body image that makes me eat mindfully and sensibly. I don't diet, but I just eat listening to what my body needs at that moment. Speaking of body image here are some informations : Body image is . . . How you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. What you believe about your own appearance (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations). How you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight. How you sense and control your body as you move. How you feel in your body, not just about your body. Negative body image is . . . A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are. You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure. You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body. You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body. Positive body image is . . . A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are. You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person. You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories. You feel comfortable and confident in your body. People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss. As time permits, I will try to expound more on this subject later on. PS: Do you have friends you can talk to just to socialize face-to-face?
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