I'm thinking about two years ago on Valentine's Day I was still married. (Not happily, but in my denial and pretend world.) Everyone was happy with me that I was married and playing the game. I knew inside I was NOT happy. Within a few weeks I started having an affair with a guy that ended up being a PoA. He had formerly been my doctor and used that position to his advantage. It was a bad scene. It was all about sex with him. Anyway, my marriage ended by the end of that year.
So, last Valentine's Day I was with a guy I met on match that was the replacement PoA for the PoA (doctor) that dumped me. I wasted all of 2014 on the replacement PoA. I finally ended it with him a little over 5 weeks ago. I've been NC with him for a little over 5 weeks.
So - I guess I'm just sad for where I'm at right now. BUT - I am making progress and I'm making good decisions. I'm seeing a new therapist who specializes in love and sex addiction. I'm off all dating sites and not dating anyone. I'm working on me and figuring out how to get well and heal and be a person who doesn't attract narcissistic jerks who are out for themselves. I don't want to be attracted to that type anymore. But I have to get healthy first. That's what I'm doing. I've removed myself from being out where I'll get into more awful, dead end relationships.
While I'm sad and down - I see that things could be, and have been worse.
I can get better and I already am better in many ways.
"You deserve better than something that may be comfortable for you but you already know doesn't work and that you'll be complaining about soon enough and hoping that something or someone else will do what you can't even do for yourself. You deserve better - you deserve change".
Excerpt from www.baggagereclaim.com