Getting Rid of The Black Holes

I have always loved an analogy. I love it & feel inspired when writers talk reflect on the human spirit, feelings, our inner struggles, the fight between good and toxic symbolically, through images & ideas. Lord of the Rings, Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, Harry Potter, Dante's Inferno - just to name a few. I started reading the introduction of Women Who Run With the Wolves yesterday & it's blowing my mind away. I am sinking into it & can't stop thinking about it. 

So, I went for a work interview a couple of days back. I have mixed feelings about it. The negativity and the anger tries to rear it's ugly head blocking out the tiny but bright spots of fireflies. So why am I posting it here on the positive thread? Because I know I did learn a couple of things.

Two people interviewed me. One was extremely sorted, a great communicator with encouraging and very positive vibes. The other person, however came to talk about the money or rather that's the impression I received. He was one of those people who typically float into a meeting with an agenda about only money and not really being interested in the content of the work or the individual who they are meeting for the first time. That's okay. Everyone cannot be what I expect them to be. 

From my end I realised a few key things. First of all I was pretty good at speaking my mind and holding my ground while he was devaluing me through non verbal cues and so called "smart comments" which only made him look ignorant. Anyone who reads my post about men or my relationships will know that I get a little inhibited/awed by "seniority"/"authority" Well I didn't! I saw through what he was doing - devaluing. And I am glad that I could push through & see this clearly. It's a positive step from all this learning. I also know that because of this experience my handling of coming situations might be better. Practice makes perfect!  

Inspite of the anger I feel I can counter it knowing that if he is talking in a certain way or making naive comments it actually shows on his lack of communication skills & ignorance - not mine. It's about him, not me. Mine were very much in place during the interview.  

Secondly we learn the positive from the negative too. From one of his comments I realised that I am not really skilled at one aspect of a particular work. It's a good thing that he asked me a specific question about this particular work making me realise that I have do some productive homework.

Most importantly the other person I met was exactly the opposite and the yin to this yang. I am grateful for this. Why not focus on the thoughts about this person? Why not hope for great communication with this person instead of angry thoughts about the negative one? Why not have good productive fantasies about work about this person instead of revenge fantasies about this person? The latter does not serve me in any way.

Knowing the above -
I counter my awe and blindfold with clear sightedness
I counter the negative by scooping up the positive from it & trashing the rest
I counter my disgust & anger with pleasure & gratitude because of meeting a good person who respected me & believed in me
I counter my violent fantasy with productive fantasy & turn it into a positive affirmation 
I counter the bad with the good ... Period! 
 

A few days back I was watching Eat, Pray, Love. A dialogue stuck with me for quite a while. "Just let it be" This is what a character tells Liz, the protagonist in the film when she's trying too hard to cope at a meditation centre. They say sometimes letting it be helps instead of endlessly pondering, trying, executing (even hoping!) for it! 

So, two weeks back I was a bit fried in my head about being positive, networking, applying praying, meditating, imaging, centering, self talk about the "right" job & I just told myself quietly, "I am just going to let it be for a while. Just leave it as it is. I am not giving up. Just putting things to rest for a while"

A day later the phone rang!

So, currently this is my situation. Having said many things about looking for a job I have two writing assignments at present on a project basis. I am feeling very grateful and positive to have this come my way. Its almost like a gift. One assignment is helping me to explore things creatively. I have some amount of independence about how I want it to turn out. The other is very disciplined, structured writing.

At first I felt a bit bored with the second one. But I have realised that there is a very positive side to it. This kind of writing helps to regain concentration, focus and attention span. Also it is new for me to write this specific kind of stuff. So I am actually acquiring a new skill and experience by doing this.

Many of us here are looking for work. We are worried about money and future.
I just want to affirm to myself and to all of you that there is hope.
There are opportunities out there that are arriving to us right now at this very moment.
It is here. It is arriving.   

The concept of a new year can bring promise and sometimes a sense of not being content with what we have. Our mind is naturally inclined toward the negative and as a result we may focus on what needs to be fixed or what isn’t going well in our lives. We can bring an energy of discontentment into the New Year and with it a feeling of pressure. Have you ever heard yourself think, “This is the year that I have to…exercise more, meet the man/woman of my dreams, land that dream job, etc.” 

The New Year is an opportunity to grow and develop new qualities that will more closely align with the kind of person we want to be and the life we want to be living. But first, it’s important to acknowledge everything that we already have and bring into the New Year with us. If we forget this important step, we are setting too lofty of expectations for our year because we are coming from a sense of lack vs. a feeling of “I have enough.” 

“Changing is like being in a ship on the sea. You must build a new boat with material from the old one you’re traveling in. You can’t go on shore to destroy the old one first and then build a new one, but you have to reconstruct while sailing.” 

As we move into 2016, I encourage the following steps to cultivate a contented New Year. 

When the New Year arrives, you don’t become a NEW you. You are the same person, but you have an opportunity for change and growth. You are bringing your compassion and your resiliency. You may bring your inner critic, your wisdom of the mind, body, and heart, and even your resistance to change. Make a list of what you are bringing with you. 

I notice for myself that when I dream of living a different life than what I am living, wanting something else, someone else, striving for something that isn’t right here, I suffer and I am not content with what I have. I take a lot of comfort in knowing how the simple act of bringing gratitude to the moment I am in shifts my mind from a sense of lack to contentment. If I can be happy now, under these circumstances and conditions (which are always changing and different than I sometimes wish them to be) then I can be happy anywhere, at any time. Allow yourself to feel the abundance in your life and then see how this impacts your hopes and wishes for the New Year. 

I feel grateful for: 

my health 

my professional opportunities 

my friends and family 

living in a place where I can access nature easily 

my meditation practice 

In the New Year, we often set very specific goals with a short timeline. This creates a feeling of striving for the unachievable and instead of succeeding, we fail. Meaningful change happens on a continuum over time. 

An intention is something we build and cultivate over time. It grows by watering it with attention, patience, and wise effort. A goal tends to have a specific result and is time oriented. 

Goal Example: I must find the love of my life in the next two months. 

Intention Example: My intention is to cultivate more love in my life. I know that by aligning my actions with this intention, I will be more loving and will attract more love in my life. 

When we share what we want in life and are witnessed in this, we have more power to manifest our greater potential. Here are some intentions I have heard this year. 

I want to cultivate more compassion toward myself and others. 

I want to become more generous. 

I want to develop more patience. 

I want to feel more proud of the person I am. 

I want to feel more comfortable with uncertainty. 

Using the example above, if I am committed to bringing love into my life I will: 

Spend time nourishing my mind, body, and heart so that I can love all parts of myself. 

I will choose love over fear and dare to trust. 

I give the benefit of the doubt to other person and trust in their goodness. 

I will be more open to new people, no matter how they appear in my life. 

I will share with those around me, my intention for love in my life. 

With repeated effort and staying true to your intention you will create what you seek. Be open to the surprise of how and when it occurs. 

I have been setting intentions for my life for several years and I find that checking in on my progress 3 times a year is really helpful. Identify a time when you will reflect on your progress with kindness and acceptance. Compassion vs. criticism is the greatest motivator toward change. 

In order to grow something new in your life you must make space for it. For example, if you are cultivating more patience then you must start to let go of impatience. By letting go of a certain way of being or a pattern in your life, you can manifest something different.