Post by nolongerbroken on Jun 2, 2015 13:38:35 GMT -8
posted this in the wrong section.I think this is the right one.
I have doing roughly well in accepting that my husband is not really in what any one would call real recovery,even during our separation and I am letting go. been peacefully better on my path to whatever my future holds and then randomly ran across this line :
"I believe that a sex addict is capable of love and this is demonstrated as recovery continues
When we realise the damage and our remorse and empathy kick in, the love we have comes to the fore and flourishes like nothing we've ever felt before"
It hit something so deep in me that I cant quite comprehend it or understand it. whats going on inside me? These words above hit a hurt n me I didn't know hadn't been dealt with or something.Thought I had dealt with everything.But the cry in me came out so loud. like a monster and burst out without my control like something with a mind of its own.Shocked me. The only thing I can rationalize is that it is the deep profound unhealed anguish and gut wrenching pain of not having this ever happen: the damage, remorse and empathy kick in and the love to come to the fore and flourish in him. It just didn't happen after almost 20 years. Still just anger and denial and fault finding and selfishness and no abstinence...all while going through the "motions" of a12step recovery support group and counselling and church. The making me the bad guy has done so much much damage , just traumatizing. The above line just hit something.I guess I hadn't dealt with that as much as I need to.Dont know if there is any real getting over someone not finally seeing and painfully hurting over the damage they've caused though. hope this isn't a post that a lot of people reading but no one comments to.Hurt is hard to go through by yourself and this one took me by utter surprise.
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Read more: loveaddictionforum.proboards.com/thread/16561/more-ground-hadnt-dealt-fully#ixzz3bwXEFobB
I have doing roughly well in accepting that my husband is not really in what any one would call real recovery,even during our separation and I am letting go. been peacefully better on my path to whatever my future holds and then randomly ran across this line :
"I believe that a sex addict is capable of love and this is demonstrated as recovery continues
When we realise the damage and our remorse and empathy kick in, the love we have comes to the fore and flourishes like nothing we've ever felt before"
It hit something so deep in me that I cant quite comprehend it or understand it. whats going on inside me? These words above hit a hurt n me I didn't know hadn't been dealt with or something.Thought I had dealt with everything.But the cry in me came out so loud. like a monster and burst out without my control like something with a mind of its own.Shocked me. The only thing I can rationalize is that it is the deep profound unhealed anguish and gut wrenching pain of not having this ever happen: the damage, remorse and empathy kick in and the love to come to the fore and flourish in him. It just didn't happen after almost 20 years. Still just anger and denial and fault finding and selfishness and no abstinence...all while going through the "motions" of a12step recovery support group and counselling and church. The making me the bad guy has done so much much damage , just traumatizing. The above line just hit something.I guess I hadn't dealt with that as much as I need to.Dont know if there is any real getting over someone not finally seeing and painfully hurting over the damage they've caused though. hope this isn't a post that a lot of people reading but no one comments to.Hurt is hard to go through by yourself and this one took me by utter surprise.
Reply
Quick Reply
Read more: loveaddictionforum.proboards.com/thread/16561/more-ground-hadnt-dealt-fully#ixzz3bwXEFobB