Post by abetterlife on Jun 30, 2015 9:30:35 GMT -8
I have a habit of being late, well maybe not really a habit, but honestly moreso a way of life for me. I realized looking into my past, that there's a very good chance that this stems from childhood. My father was always late. He left me and would come back hours later or sometimes never at all. Sometimes it was in different states and had to find my way home with little or no resources. I remember sitting on street curbs for hours for him to return. If I was late coming home, Id have to sleep on back porch, sometimes the only warmth I would have was the dryer vent at side of house. I have worked through these feelings through CBT and EMDR therapy so I dont live there anymore. However my punctuality has remained an issue. I've gotten warnings at work, its always 3 to 4 minutes late but it matters. Could this be from childhood? Or just a character defect I have to fix. Or both?
I call my sponsor 10-15 minutes late everytime. The behavior is unfair to her and rude. We get along very well, and she's helped me make strides in my recovery. She is offering her time and guidance, I feel selfish in continuing this behavior as I know it bothers her. And I am choosing to stop doing this to people. Right now. I have to revisit where this comes from. But how do I fix it? Just saying I will be on time from now on, doesnt work. Do I have to do some more inner child work?
I feel if someone is late, I get irritated. But Im hardly ever on time or god forbid never early. It creates a feeling of uneasiness and vulnerability. Like I dont want to be susceptible to abandonment again. This may sound trivial but I am just wondering if anyone else can relate and their thoughts on it.
I call my sponsor 10-15 minutes late everytime. The behavior is unfair to her and rude. We get along very well, and she's helped me make strides in my recovery. She is offering her time and guidance, I feel selfish in continuing this behavior as I know it bothers her. And I am choosing to stop doing this to people. Right now. I have to revisit where this comes from. But how do I fix it? Just saying I will be on time from now on, doesnt work. Do I have to do some more inner child work?
I feel if someone is late, I get irritated. But Im hardly ever on time or god forbid never early. It creates a feeling of uneasiness and vulnerability. Like I dont want to be susceptible to abandonment again. This may sound trivial but I am just wondering if anyone else can relate and their thoughts on it.
I do that sometimes.