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Post by Sobriety on Oct 10, 2015 20:53:36 GMT -8
During the course of our marriage..my husband's love avoidance was also in the small joys of life... I used to wake up and sweetly say, *goooood morning* with a smile. He hardly even acknowledged me. He either ignored me as if he didn't hear it or if he answered at all, then he said, *ya* with no emotions..that *ya* used to break my heart and I wondered how long does it take for someone to say *good morning* or show some warmth and connection with a smile. I fought about it with him after several of these episodes. Later in the relationship, I stopped saying *good morning* myself. I was getting emotionally away from him...I could feel it....
Something strange happened this morning... I had a lucid dream..it was right close to my waking moment...seemed surreal...as if I was imagining things when I woke up but It was a dream.... A man woke up from next to me (it wasn't my husband). He smiled and lovingly said goooood morning baby. I was wearing a white night dress. I woke up (in my dream) with a light around me (a glowing white light), stretched my arms and replied *goooood morning* with the same loving feeling.
When I woke up fully...I felt confused and weird. Is this dream also a part of my love addiction that I want a loving affectionate man subconsciously? Am I still thinking about love? I was working so hard to not have any such thoughts....
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Post by Louise on Oct 11, 2015 2:40:56 GMT -8
Hi Sobriety!
That's a nice dream! I've experienced something like this too: when I was really working hard not to fantasize about my last poa, the thoughts found their way into my dreams. So I think it might have to do with you trying hard not to think about love.
In general I don't think there's anything wrong though with wanting love in your life. It's only a problem if you use it to escape your reality and if love becomes more important than selflove. So I don't think you need to be too worried.
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Post by LovelyJune on Oct 11, 2015 3:53:30 GMT -8
Susan Peabody might say that every player in your dream is YOU. Perhaps your masculine and feminine sides have met in last night's dream and you satisfied your own need for this morning ritual and validation.
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Post by Sobriety on Oct 11, 2015 4:42:16 GMT -8
Susan Peabody might say that every player in your dream is YOU. Perhaps your masculine and feminine sides have met in last night's dream.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anima_and_animus[/quote][/font] |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Oct 11, 2015 10:13:59 GMT -8
A man woke up from next to me (it wasn't my husband). He smiled and lovingly said goooood morning baby. I was wearing a white night dress. I woke up (in my dream) with a light around me (a glowing white light), stretched my arms and replied *goooood morning* with the same loving feeling. When I woke up fully...I felt confused and weird. Is this dream also a part of my love addiction that I want a loving affectionate man subconsciously? Am I still thinking about love? I was working so hard to not have any such thoughts....
This may be what Carl Jung [my mentor] calls "The Royal Marriage." I call it a self-esteem dream. The source of our love addiction is self-alienation. The solution is self-unification. To Jung this is the union of the masculine and feminine [anima and animus]. It is exceptional to have such a dream this early in recovery. But I am starting to believe that you have been in recovery for years and your abusive marriage was just a relapse. Welcome back to recovery. I look forward to reading your first step about your marriage. Therapy is about bringing the unconscious to the conscious. You do this from dream analysis, slips of the tongue, and flashbacks. When I had this dream my therapist and I discussed it for months. Thanks for posting. We know you will be starting your own journal, but I am happy you are staying in the other categories for awhile as your recovery is strong. |
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