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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 30, 2015 11:48:06 GMT -8
Clients always tell me that they had perfect parents and yet they have all the symptoms of love addiction.
Yes, shame, neglect, abuse and abandonment are the root of the problem. But most of all it is the mood of the primary caretaker. Children are very sensitive to a parents' anxiety, depression and lack of eye contact.
Once I saw a video of a woman holding a rag doll. At least I thought it was a rag doll until they gave the woman electric shock therapy. The woman came alive and so the rag doll which was actually her baby.
Here is a video that explains what children go through . . .
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Post by paisley on Dec 4, 2015 5:15:23 GMT -8
Kind of hard to watch. In such a short amount of time, the baby shows such confusion and then seems to almost give up. At 11 years old, I remember consciously giving up on receiving love, support and protection from my mom. Thankfully we repaired our relationship fully later in life, but of course I'm still repairing damage from not having needs met as a child. No telling what I went through as a baby. I like to think it wasn't so bad until I was older and more difficult for my parents to deal with. I always cringe when I witness parents ignoring their children. That's where that screeching noise comes from!  |
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 4, 2015 12:19:03 GMT -8
Yes, I felt for the mother having to do the experiment. I thought she was having a hard time doing that to her baby, even for one minute. Thanks for sharing this.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 4, 2015 12:29:47 GMT -8
For my inner child this was hard to watch because when I tried to kiss my mother she turned her face away. But what was most painful was seeing this video as a mother. I would talk with friends for twenty minutes while my children stood there trying to get my attention with tears in their eyes. I was a good conversationalist and I put the attention I got from that ahead of what my children need. Eventually, whomever I was talking to would interrupt me and remind me that my children needed my attention. How humiliating. My daughter died hating me. If you are a mother work hard on bonding with your children. Not too much [emotional incest] and not to little [abandonment]. Think Goldilocks. I also want to point out that birth order plays a part. I saw a mother once at the bus stop. The baby in her arms was happy. The seven year old who was coloring was happy. The toddler, on the other hand, was screaming and crying to be picked up. I was a middle child. |
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 5, 2015 2:30:42 GMT -8
I think my higher power decided that since I had had such a terrible lack of nurturing from my mother, I would get an easy ride with my kids. I was always pretty maternal and wanted them very much. I wasn't perfect and did act badly at times. I made mistakes. I have apologised to them and it seems that they forgive me. They always say "we know you love us Mum."
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