|
|
Post by terryt on Jun 27, 2016 7:44:12 GMT -8
The fact that you are remembering these things so vividly means you are getting healthier. Your mind is allowing that very unhealthy and damaging content to leave. Write it down if you need to. Just get it out whatever way you can. Your mind is letting you do this now....something it maybe has never done since these events first took place
You are on the right track with the breathing Vivi
Write about it all....write lots......stay in bed if that's the only thing that comforts you now.
Keep up the good work Vivi
Take care
|
|
|
|
Flashbacks
Jun 27, 2016 13:02:49 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by Kristana on Jun 27, 2016 13:02:49 GMT -8
Its shoking what u went thru...are there words to empatise- im not sure there are enough.
I wish god gives you in life exact amount of good as the bad you went thru and even more goodness.
My strugles seem meaningles after i read this vivi.
Big hug!
|
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 28, 2016 9:28:02 GMT -8
Thank you TerryT and Stela for your messages.
I managed to go out to my CODA meeting only to be triggered by one of our peers who keeps sharing graphic details of the abuse she was a victim of...
Matthew 6:25-34New International Version (NIV)
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. |
|
|
|
Flashbacks
Jun 29, 2016 10:05:35 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by Kristana on Jun 29, 2016 10:05:35 GMT -8
Your girl might blame u that u stoped her from c9ntact with grandmum.
Maybe she will figure her self what granmum is.but i guess u dont want that toxic person arownd your girl.i can understand that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 2, 2016 12:55:46 GMT -8
On Wednesday I thought I felt better. My friend M came to see me in the evening. I got so drunk and smoked so much pot I got really sick...
As I point out in my book, Addiction to Love, love addicts have subsidiary addictions to dull the pain. Mine were food and alcohol. I got up to 300 lbs and drinking every day. Try to nip this in the bud as it is just switching from one addiction to another. You have to face the pain and sit with it. God and all of us will help you. I beg you not to go down this path.
Susan |
|
|
|
Post by Kristana on Jul 2, 2016 20:44:14 GMT -8
Susan put it nicely not to go that road.
Can i be bit harsh-smoking pot is serious adiction as any other more so serious bc ppl find it easy right.
Would you aprove your daughter smoking pot?
No im sure of this.
Vivi this is somewhere were u need to step it up and take reasponsibility.
As u working on u l.a thas somewhere to pay attention
Same with my food adiction.im on a diet se ond time in my life and i dont know will i make it.it scares me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 3, 2016 8:12:21 GMT -8
Same with my food adiction.im on a diet se ond time in my life and i dont know will i make it.it scares me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kristana on Jul 11, 2016 8:10:42 GMT -8
Its all good make u self a favour feel them all
Now i regulary ask my self what i feel in the moment.i dont let it build up.
|
|
|
|
Post by healingodat on Aug 2, 2016 15:26:18 GMT -8
Same with my food adiction.im on a diet se ond time in my life and i dont know will i make it.it scares me.
I too also remember, when i became so sexually shamed of myself and could no longer deal with the depression, at age 15 I began my addiction to food. I am also having allot of dreams of sexual abuse w my father. It usually happens when I stop acting out. It's been 6 weeks sober now, and it's no surprise these dreams are back. I had a couple of nights of those dreams 2 night ago, and I didn't even make the connection that for the last 2 days, I've been in a dissociative state. Wanting to isolate, depressed and with a sense of grief. Of course I'm grieving this past PoA, but it's past grieving this addiction itself, it's more like I'm grieving childhood abuse, or the effects. I was feeling so great last week, positive, and hopeful, and the hope is still there, just these dreams are so dark and shadowy. I mean they disturb me, but i am allowing my HP to reveal to me what I need to know, when I need to know it. If dreams or memories of abuse are there for me to heal, I accept them, but I kinda wish they wouldn't happen. vivi, thank you for your courage to come here and share your experience. It helps me to know I am not alone and healing does happen if I let it. I feel comforted by your ability to be open to share who you are. I have to have so much compassion for myself. I really want to get that bat and beat myself up and blame myself for everything, everything that happened to me during childhood, and everything that I've done in my addiction, but I know how it works. I have to learn to re parent myself, love that inner child, teach her I am responsible today and I will take care of her with the help of my loving Higher Power and through the connections and identification I get with others in recovery. I know I will unify all the pieces of me that I feel are broken or hurt. I will do this one day at a time. I need to grief and work through that abuse in a gentle way through help from my therapist etc. I just don't want to loose hope, because those painful memories do come around. Thank goodness for EMDR and any form of therapy. |
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 5, 2016 13:59:43 GMT -8
|
|
