Conection with higher self

Hi today I once again did meditation, I could easily move beyond my body and fly , fly like a bird. I could see mountains , freedom . I couldn't see other birds though .
Piano music also takes me in the nature, that's my other conection. I ,,can touch long grass with my finger tips and smell the wind,, I could learn from The birds , the bees and the lake. They forewer changing and also still the same. ,,
I could feel fear of this deep conection ,where it will take me. Will I find my path? My lost gifts , talents ? What is Gods plan for me?
After I draw a picture of the mountain, I could feel that my spirit/ soul going on the journey , it's like I have to leave ?
How ? When ? Where? Or is it just feeling ... Oh I wish I could actually go some place far far away... From city , crowds and noise.
I can see peace and serenity , far far away .. Maybe it's abey..mmmm .. I have kids that's not posible..
I just work because I work. I don't enjoy it.

I wish I could go travel and see word or help, heal ...