Post by Babysteps on Apr 19, 2016 11:50:07 GMT -8
I haven't written on here for a few months. I have checked in as a guest when I needed to ground myself, however I haven't felt the need to write an update until now.
I have been with my man for almost a year now. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by and how different a relationship can be when you are both on the same page. When there is equality and openness from both sides. When you can share how you are feeling and not be judged or pushed away. I work hard on myself every day, this will never change and I believe for that reason I have kept the focus on me and making sure that I am happy. However I have hit a curve ball on something and would appreciate some feedback from the members on here, if you have time.
Firstly a bit of context: My partner has a 5 year old daughter and for more than four years she has had a nanny looking after her. My partners ex was alcoholic and an unreliable mother, and this nanny was a constant and reassuring presence throughout all the drama and subsequent split. In fact the ex assaulted the nanny in front of the little girl and there was a court case and restraining order, though this is only because the policeman wanted to press charges not the nanny.
I came on the scene knowing all this background. I got to know my man and I have fallen deeply in love however I have a lot of jealousy about this nanny and the involvement she has in my partner and his little girls life. This comes and goes, sometimes I can deal with is and other times it just consumes me.
My partner has given me no reason to think that she is anything more than employee and I have no tangible evidence to indicate that there is / or ever has been anything going on. In fact he has gone out of his way to reassure me when I have voiced my concern. He always picks up my calls, responds to my messages and lets me know where he is etc etc but I am still jealous and my mind is going in over drive - and I am doing all I can to stop myself from freaking out. It doesn't help that we do not live together yet, so I have to accept the fact that she is there first thing in the morning collecting his daughter for school and dropping her off again in the evening. Cooking dinner and cleaning the house etc etc always around, always involved.
The other day when I raised the subject again he told me to deal with it. Either by speaking to her and letting her know how I feel so that we could work through it, or he would fire her and find another nanny. I would love to tell him to get another nanny but firstly, his little girl has coped with enough in her life without losing the person she looks at as a mother figure, and secondly this is a jealousy issue bought on by my low self esteem and unless I deal with it then it will just appear again.
I have been with my man for almost a year now. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by and how different a relationship can be when you are both on the same page. When there is equality and openness from both sides. When you can share how you are feeling and not be judged or pushed away. I work hard on myself every day, this will never change and I believe for that reason I have kept the focus on me and making sure that I am happy. However I have hit a curve ball on something and would appreciate some feedback from the members on here, if you have time.
Firstly a bit of context: My partner has a 5 year old daughter and for more than four years she has had a nanny looking after her. My partners ex was alcoholic and an unreliable mother, and this nanny was a constant and reassuring presence throughout all the drama and subsequent split. In fact the ex assaulted the nanny in front of the little girl and there was a court case and restraining order, though this is only because the policeman wanted to press charges not the nanny.
I came on the scene knowing all this background. I got to know my man and I have fallen deeply in love however I have a lot of jealousy about this nanny and the involvement she has in my partner and his little girls life. This comes and goes, sometimes I can deal with is and other times it just consumes me.
My partner has given me no reason to think that she is anything more than employee and I have no tangible evidence to indicate that there is / or ever has been anything going on. In fact he has gone out of his way to reassure me when I have voiced my concern. He always picks up my calls, responds to my messages and lets me know where he is etc etc but I am still jealous and my mind is going in over drive - and I am doing all I can to stop myself from freaking out. It doesn't help that we do not live together yet, so I have to accept the fact that she is there first thing in the morning collecting his daughter for school and dropping her off again in the evening. Cooking dinner and cleaning the house etc etc always around, always involved.
The other day when I raised the subject again he told me to deal with it. Either by speaking to her and letting her know how I feel so that we could work through it, or he would fire her and find another nanny. I would love to tell him to get another nanny but firstly, his little girl has coped with enough in her life without losing the person she looks at as a mother figure, and secondly this is a jealousy issue bought on by my low self esteem and unless I deal with it then it will just appear again.
