runnybabbit
New Member
Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Time for therapy!
Posts: 20 
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Post by runnybabbit on Jun 1, 2016 6:05:28 GMT -8
I'm currently on my special time of the month so my emotions are pretty crazy. I also experience a great deal of pain it Co tributes to my depression and anxiety.
So I have a lot of dreams lately that are about tornadoes and the end of the world. Everyone is going to die only for what seems the entire night of sleep I don't die but exhaust myself in running from them in these very real dreams.
Tonight was different. I was affiliated with a group of actors and one in particular I had seen this one very good looking dude who sort of looked like George Clooney and Benicio Del Toro. So if you're anything like me who would do anything for a good ol fake your death and run away with type of thing. I know it was only a dream but it was a fun dream. But a dream nonetheless.
So now I'm awake, in pain, laying next to my aloof bf who looks nothing like George Clooney or Benicio Del Toro and I feel dead inside.
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Post by Kristana on Jun 1, 2016 21:33:41 GMT -8
Its a perspective you know.a dream is still justxa dream.
Reality is you are here now.
You choose your thoughts-they can be dark or light.you set your mood for the day.
If tge bf is not what u like change the bf or better change your self.
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runnybabbit
New Member
Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Time for therapy!
Posts: 20
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Post by runnybabbit on Jun 1, 2016 21:36:41 GMT -8
Its a perspective you know.a dream is still justxa dream. Reality is you are here now. You choose your thoughts-they can be dark or light.you set your mood for the day. If tge bf is not what u like change the bf or better change your self. It's just a dream. I rather sleep for eternity. |
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Post by Kristana on Jun 1, 2016 23:00:36 GMT -8
Thats an escapisam.nothing to do with reality.
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Post by denverdignity on Jun 2, 2016 9:04:05 GMT -8
I can understand how you feel.I tend to be a dreamer and reality is just so hard to swallow sometimes, esp if you suffer from anxiety and depression..it makes things seem out of your control and fear can keep you from making the changes you need to be more content and in control of your life. I feel like we all go into slumps too and you will come out of this one.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 2, 2016 12:48:09 GMT -8
E specially if you suffer from anxiety and depression...I too have suffered from anxiety and depression all my life. My mother told me I was a happy and content child until I was 4. Then she put me on a plane and told to lie about my age because I was five. I was going to see my grandmother who sodomized me. Then my mother had a nervous breakdown and I was without a mom for months. Then I was put in the hospital for three months, and still remember screaming for my mother. I was never the same. This is when I split which I described in the article I wrote. Fast forward to be being an adult. I noticed one day that I had a rash. It was hives. I asked the doctor what it was and she tested me for allergies. It turned out in my case that it was stress. Over the next few months the hives got worse and I blew up like a balloon. My lips were swollen. My eyes were swollen shut and my foot was the size of a football. My stress had turned somatic (physical). To treat the hives they treated me with steroids. Then the doctor sent me to a psychiatrist. I thought I was supposed to talk through my stress like I had been doing for years in talk therapy. But this guy laughed and said, "Susan you are way past talk therapy. You need anti-anxiety medication. At first I refused. It was such a big step. So I left and thought about it. Once I got home I prayed about it and then decided to give it a try. The results were miraculous. I went back to the doctor and he said, "I can see you are now a believer." Oh yes. For years I have struggled with this decision because there is such a stigma attached to people who use "pills." But I have come to terms with it now. I need this medication. No one has to understand this except God and me. Splitting: The Original Wound www.brightertomorrow.net/spiritualarticles.htm |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 2, 2016 13:10:15 GMT -8
Thats an escapisam.nothing to do with reality. I began escaping from reality using fantasies when I was four years old and I had to be put in the hospital. It saved my sanity I am sure. Eventually fantasies became my number one coping strategy. One day I read a romantic novel and my fantasies turned to growing up, meeting my knight in armor, and living happily ever after. This was the birth of my love addiction. In recovery I still fantasize, but I do not let the fantasies become real life. I know better. Lately, I have been reading Eckart Tolle about living in the NOW. I had no idea how addicted I was to obsessing about the past or future tripping. When I tried to live in the moment I couldn't even do it. But I am learning. I highly recommend his book, especially his work about the original wound.  |
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Post by Kristana on Jun 2, 2016 13:48:38 GMT -8
I read it.i wrote in my journal.gave me so much to think about.
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Post by Loveanimals on Jun 2, 2016 19:46:55 GMT -8
The Power of Now is a great book, Susan.
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runnybabbit
New Member
Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Time for therapy!
Posts: 20
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Post by runnybabbit on Jun 8, 2016 4:20:58 GMT -8
I used to be a self help nut. Now, I much rather not read those types of books anymore and just see a professional.
Now that I'm not bleeding anymore LOL this all seems funny but in all seriousness it's the same but not magnified.
Escapism is just another way to quietly get your fix of what is missing in your life. Books, movies, imagination... Who knew that your own mind could plot against you like this.
I don't give my bf enough credit for dealing with me and my avoidance. Fantasies are so much safer yet very limiting.
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runnybabbit
New Member
Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Time for therapy!
Posts: 20
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Post by runnybabbit on Jun 8, 2016 4:30:27 GMT -8
I read it.i wrote in my journal.gave me so much to think about. If it wasn't for my journals written over 10 years, I probably wouldn't have thought I had a problem or cared enough to figure out the name for these feelings. |
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barbed wire heart
Junior Member
Technical Support Moderator
2017.....Im ready
Posts: 71
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Post by barbed wire heart on Jun 12, 2016 20:41:11 GMT -8
runnyrabbit dreams are a gamble and you know this. we give them power so they can mean everything or don't and then they mean nothing. you can do the right thing for yourself, flip the script on the dream.
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