mia21
New Member
Posts: 13 
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Post by mia21 on Jun 2, 2016 22:21:59 GMT -8
I am someone who is trying to learn more about this love addiction. From my teenage years,whenever I met someone I found attractive,I wanted them to fall in love with me. I never acted on these feelings but I felt disappointed if they did not notice me that way or give me that special attention.
Even now,if I see a good looking man who is very educated and intelligent,I immediately fall in love and if they don't seem interested in me (like if they just acted professionally) I will be very disappointed and feel very sad. Yesterday I went to a very good looking doctor who was very professional and treated my illness,but did not give me special attention and I was very sad for a while and questioned my own attractiveness!
Are these symptoms of love addiction.I don't usually pursue these people and also if they did give me attention,I'll try to immediately back down and start ignoring them.What is this mind game I'm playing with myself?? |
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Post by Kristana on Jun 3, 2016 0:15:18 GMT -8
Hi it seem like l.a
Welcome!
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Elisa
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Posts: 36
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Post by Elisa on Dec 13, 2017 15:56:31 GMT -8
Part of this is the patriarchal structure of our society especially culturally.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2017 17:23:47 GMT -8
This reminds me of something that we have not talked about on this board very much. I wonder if any of these items seem to "ring true" for you? I find myself behaving seductively from time to time with newly acquainted women. I think I can safely say that I like my drama from time to time. I do sometimes fantasize about relationships being more intimate than they actually are. |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 13, 2017 17:33:54 GMT -8
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2017 19:01:50 GMT -8
This is fine as long as you do not do it in front of your wife . . . I have to confess that I have done this from time to time. I enjoy flirting and communicating. At parties or social gatherings I have done this while my partner is present. They have commented on it on a couple of occasions. I have learned that I need to monitor my feelings and actions in these situations and act with some restraint. |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 14, 2017 10:20:54 GMT -8
There should be no moral value attached to feelings or thoughts. They are just spontaneous and should not be controlled. However you must monitor your actions as that is what determines your progress in recovery. If you are codependent then you think everything you do is bad. If you are a narcissist you think every thing you do is good. I prefer to find the middle ground. I do not judge myself, I just make choices and move forward to the next challenge. Try to avoid the word bad and substitute the word negative as it is a less shaming term. Men always have to deal with their "inner caveman." They are born to flirt with as many female as they come across. But in modern times women have asked men to cut back to avoid misleading women and to do it when they are not around. When I flirt I only do it in the store or parking lot. I always say "It has been fun flirting with you but I have to get home to my husband. We both laugh and walk a way. It can be fun, if nobody gets hurt. |
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