Post by sanity on Sept 21, 2016 8:30:48 GMT -8
I am with this person for last 2 and half years. He is kind and sweet to me. Unfortunately it has become a long distance relationship because our initial plans to stay in the same place have faded over time due to difficulties on his side. I don't make any demand except that he be loving and present in this relationship.
I have noticed that he has periods of high intensity and then low intensity. He falls sick (older man) or is preoccupied with some crisis, then he is low energy and not really available to me in a consistent way. He also doesn't like to apologise for his behavior even if it hurts me.
He says i should not take it seriously and just wait for him to come around. When he gets back his energy he is again attentive and available. Then he is very persistent.
I do feel like a yo yo swinging this way and that without much control. When he feels low , i start to feel bad eventually. When i express this, he says i should let these things go. This available / unavailable conundrum continues. He doesn't disappear totally but he is distant, aloof and even cold. He will never admit it.
I feel confused.
Is this what healthy relationships are like and i just don't know it? Is it normal? What should my response be? I try to be patient and caring but also get tired of it. Is it my problem?
I have noticed that he has periods of high intensity and then low intensity. He falls sick (older man) or is preoccupied with some crisis, then he is low energy and not really available to me in a consistent way. He also doesn't like to apologise for his behavior even if it hurts me.
He says i should not take it seriously and just wait for him to come around. When he gets back his energy he is again attentive and available. Then he is very persistent.
I do feel like a yo yo swinging this way and that without much control. When he feels low , i start to feel bad eventually. When i express this, he says i should let these things go. This available / unavailable conundrum continues. He doesn't disappear totally but he is distant, aloof and even cold. He will never admit it.
I feel confused.
Is this what healthy relationships are like and i just don't know it? Is it normal? What should my response be? I try to be patient and caring but also get tired of it. Is it my problem?
