mdee22
New Member
where is the vent only area steps for HOME page to vent pleasrt
Posts: 24 
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Post by mdee22 on Nov 6, 2016 8:17:40 GMT -8
mostly stronger. hurts still on occasion. MY ex POA gave away her cats, she does that.. had a dog gave it away, moves jobs every three years, left me of course overnight after 7 years, same with her husband, now she is with a woman,
they are spending money like children, plan now to get married ( after 9 months together) have a baby ( after 9 months) opened up a retail shop, sold both their cars and bought a new 40 K truck. I realize she is so childlike in her emotions, how she moves from thing to thing, gives away her pets.. typical love addict behavior?
it was good i got out of the relationhip for sure.. I still hurt though occasionally but nothing like the first 6 months.. Ouch
comments on her behavior welcome
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Post by Havefaith on Nov 6, 2016 11:37:11 GMT -8
I can't really comment on the behaviors of others -- I don't know what motivates this person, and I am not a psychoanalyst. But I will say this -- when someone displays behaviors that do not align with my core beliefs or values, it is my cue to move on.
For me, my POA was (is) a sex/porn addict who is in $60,000 gambling debt. (Why I was attracted to him in the first place is another story and took years of psychodynamic therapy to unravel). As a healing and recovering Love Addict (one year sober), I now see that his behaviors and values don't align with mine -- that I could not fathom the depravity and high risk factors of his behaviors and my complicity in them, speaks to the devastating power of addiction. I wish him well and I hope he finds the help and healing he needs. But I had to detach from him in order to get well. And part of the detachment process is not obsessing or perseverating on his disordered behaviors.
It is not my job to clean up his mess or comment on his lifestyle. I may perceive it as self-destructive, but does that matter to him? The only person I can change is myself and conversely, the only person POA can change is himself. My job is to live a clean life of truth and grace -- and pray for my fellow addicts that they find their way.
HaveFaith
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Post by picard on Nov 12, 2016 23:30:16 GMT -8
Could be borderline....but I agree with Havefaith. It does not matter. This is the beauty of boundaries....
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mdee22
New Member
where is the vent only area steps for HOME page to vent pleasrt
Posts: 24
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Post by mdee22 on Jan 4, 2017 11:14:11 GMT -8
hi just read your reply to my thread
explain "Could be a borderline" to me abit more
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mdee22
New Member
where is the vent only area steps for HOME page to vent pleasrt
Posts: 24
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Post by mdee22 on Jan 4, 2017 11:15:02 GMT -8
Could be borderline....but I agree with Havefaith. It does not matter. This is the beauty of boundaries.... explain this could be a borderline to me please |
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Post by Havefaith on Jan 4, 2017 16:01:39 GMT -8
If you search 'borderline personality disorder' you will get the information you are asking about. Again, I am no therapist, and as a recovering addict, I can only work on myself. What motivates others is a mystery, and will remain so, especially if I am not an integral (and healthy) part of their lives.
Again, I wish everyone well, but I will not obsess over others' behaviors -- because it truly does no good. And lest I forget this, I remind myself through the Serenity Prayer!
HaveFaith
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Post by picard on Jan 5, 2017 17:28:25 GMT -8
Sorry yes borderline personality disorder. My Poa had this. A constant push / pull, fake persona, very seductive. The worst relationship I ever had.
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