|
|
Post by Mb123 on Nov 25, 2016 14:50:47 GMT -8
Day 8 of no contact. He is a mean, cruel selfish man. Why do I feel so much anxiety letting him go. Feeling really depressed. Trying not to call or message him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Havefaith on Nov 25, 2016 20:00:35 GMT -8
There may not be a simple, quick answer as to why. Wish there was. I fell for a sex/porn addict who was (is) $60,000 in gambling debt. Clearly, this man is no 'winner'. And I almost left a wonderful man (emotionally healthy and available, financially well off, and beloved by family and friends) for this deeply flawed and troubled man.
Through intense psychodynamic therapy, I did, indeed, find out why this man held an attraction for me.
Suffice to say, these types of people, whether we go through therapy or not, are clearly not 'good' for us.. In the same way heroin is not good for the drug addict, and liquor is not good for the alcoholic, certain people are not good for the Love Addict. The highs may be high, but the lows are devastating and ultimately, self-destructive.
I don't know your specific situation with this man, but I strongly suspect he is not someone who is edifying to your heart, mind and soul.
First things first -- stop using. And yes, I know -- easier said than done. But there is no other way out of the pain and destruction of addiction...
HaveFaith
|
|
|
|
Post by imaloveaddict on Nov 25, 2016 21:33:52 GMT -8
For a long time I was seeking someone to connect with and while trying to find those people I discovered that I was just seeking out someone suffering from the same issues as myself so I would have someone to relate with. It never ended up being a good thing.
The best thing I have done is gotten to know myself and be able to identify people who make me a better person, whether it be friends, family, or a SO. Find the people that make you better and get rid of the people that make you a lesser person or have a negative impact on your life.
If you need to be alone for a while to figure yourself out that's fine, and when you're ready to get out into the world be aware of how people treat you. Also, don't let anyone take advantage of you during that time when you're figuring yourself out.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mb123 on Nov 26, 2016 10:50:08 GMT -8
Thank you for your responses. It is just so hard when I feel low. I know I have a ton of work to do on me and it just feels overwhelming.
|
|
