Post by mia21 on Apr 16, 2017 13:42:29 GMT -8
I have a unique love story and I wanted to share it here because it is a bit different from what other love addicts stories.
My story starts in college about 20 years ago. I had never fallen in love before because I come from a strict orthodox family and wanted to practice abstinence till marriage.
one day a person tells me he likes me. I obviously don't pay attention and then again he sends me cards and stuff. I refuse. Then he became a friend and we use to talk on the phone. I keep telling him no,but inside my first love is blooming. I can't stop thinking about him but I wanted him to demonstrate that I'm the only one he'd want for life and maybe wait till I say yes to love.
At the end of the year,he tells me he has moved on. He seemed to think I had no interest and I kept a poker face even though a volcano of sadness erupted inside me and the world seemed to end. I fell into depression and slowly I realize it was all my fault.If I had wanted it,I should have said yes.But some things seemed wrong. He asked me about my financial wealth and other people said bad things about him. That's why I waited and he moved on. Then he tried to contact and talk to me a few times and I rejected.
After all these years, I am still thinking about him which I know is a classic torch bearer.But how can you mourn a relationship I did not have?? I want to think if I'm really a torchbearer? According to him I was just a girl who said no and he moved on. In my head, he is my everything and I did not even tell him that and I was not in a relationship with him. I still pine for him and the sadness is significant after a recent bout with depression.What is wrong with this picture?