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Post by shastafame411 on May 6, 2017 13:13:03 GMT -8
I'm feeling really tempted to start using prescription drugs. I used them in the past only to find out they take away my feelings but not my thoughts of the person
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Post by Susan Peabody on May 6, 2017 14:35:29 GMT -8
I'm feeling really tempted to start using prescription drugs. I used them in the past only to find out they take away my feelings but not my thoughts of the person[/quote.] The right medication will not take away your feelings, only your depression. Medication does not work with situational depression like love addiction. If the love addiction triggers clinical depression [gets worse after time not better) then medication will help. This happened to me and I take anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication. Consult a psychiatrist that you trust and do research about the medication he recommends. It is not all or nothing. Find the middle ground. We also have to beware of our inner child who resides in our sub-conscious. She/he has a hidden agenda to keep your addicted to your PoA so she can get him to change his mind. This obsession stems from the fact that as a child you could not escape wanting to get your parents to love you so rather than moving on as you need to do now, you stay and obsess about getting them to change their mind. This is at the heart of why no contact does not work for some people (Torchbearers) P.S. I am watching a movie about F. Scott Fitzgerald. Apparently, he was a love addict when Shelia Graham left him. |
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Post by shastafame411 on May 6, 2017 15:32:24 GMT -8
Thank you , where is the sexual attraction towards her coming from. There is part of me that wants to get physically involved with her.
I watched some videos of YouTube. I found out that love addicted and love avoident seek each other out. The pull I felt towards this woman was the fact that she was dysfunctional. Likewise she felt the pull towards me. It's all starting to make since. The videos are helping with other relationships as well.
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Post by Susan Peabody on May 7, 2017 17:23:16 GMT -8
Thank you , where is the sexual attraction towards her coming from. There is part of me that wants to get physically involved with her. Physical attraction is complicated and different from person to person. Howard Halpern in his book, How to Break an Addiction to a Person, says that with some people it is how someone looks. With others it is their personality. And still others are attracted to how they are treated. Harville Hendrix introduces the Imago Theory. He says we are attracted to our Imago (a composite of our caretakers). When we meet someone if he/she remind us even a little of our Imago we are attracted. If we are love addicts we get addicted to our Imago. If our parents are loving this is not so bad. When our parents were abusive, unavailable, addicted, narcissistic, etc. then we spend our lives attracted to people who can never make us happy. In recovery we must get to know our Imago and then stay away from him or her. Sometimes this means we have to put intense attraction on hold and go with someone we are attracted to but will not get addicted to. For me, I picked a perfect person and grew to love him because of how happy and non-addicted we were. Most love addicts play the role of the avoidant when they are not with their Imago. Read one of Harville Hendrix's books. My favorite is the one for single adults. |
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