Feeling lost after therapy finnished

Had one year of psychodynamic therapy and though we both agreed that I need more time , seasons stopped ! I can't tell how sad I feel , loosing this relationship ..
I suffer same feelings of grief . Abandonment, fear of loosing and never finding self ...

I have 2 weeks holidays and I am away for a bit , love company of people I am with but inside I am crying of solitude .
I want to sit on the beach all day and that's all. Maybe I will ask my cousin to look after my kids for a day so I could do that .

I still struggle to ask for what I need .