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Post by Lostandlonely on Aug 23, 2017 15:05:05 GMT -8
Can someone help me today please? I'm going through a really really hard time right now. I'm so so low. And I feel so alone. I'm married and my poa (not my husband) had a date today and I'm dying inside, slowly and painfully. I don't want to be like this anymore. I hate myself like this. Why does this tear me up so bad? I feel crazy. Has anyone else experienced this? What do I do? Help.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 23, 2017 16:02:56 GMT -8
Can someone help me today please? I'm going through a really really hard time right now. I'm so so low. And I feel so alone. I'm married and my poa (not my husband) had a date today and I'm dying inside, slowly and painfully. I don't want to be like this anymore. I hate myself like this. Why does this tear me up so bad? I feel crazy. Has anyone else experienced this? What do I do? Help. I am sorry about your pain. Love addicts suffer more than most because withdrawal reminds us of the love we did not get as a child. The only solution is to change your focus from your PoA to your husband and initiate no contact. I have been a love addict all my life and have experienced what you are going through. So has everybody on this board. So you are not alone if that brings you comfort. Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady will power. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for a power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams. From Overeaters Anonymous |
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Post by Lostandlonely on Aug 23, 2017 16:07:21 GMT -8
Can someone help me today please? I'm going through a really really hard time right now. I'm so so low. And I feel so alone. I'm married and my poa (not my husband) had a date today and I'm dying inside, slowly and painfully. I don't want to be like this anymore. I hate myself like this. Why does this tear me up so bad? I feel crazy. Has anyone else experienced this? What do I do? Help. I am sorry about your pain. Love addicts suffer more than most because withdrawal reminds us of the love we did not get as a child. The only solution is to change your focus from your PoA to your husband and initiate no contact. I have been a love addict all my life and have experienced what you are going through. So has everybody on this board. So you are not alone if that brings you comfort. Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady will power. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for a power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams. From Overeaters Anonymous Thanks... That brings me some comfort |
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Post by Lostandlonely on Aug 23, 2017 16:10:33 GMT -8
I am sorry about your pain. Love addicts suffer more than most because withdrawal reminds us of the love we did not get as a child. The only solution is to change your focus from your PoA to your husband and initiate no contact. I have been a love addict all my life and have experienced what you are going through. So has everybody on this board. So you are not alone if that brings you comfort. Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady will power. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for a power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams. From Overeaters Anonymous Thanks... That brings me some comfort Going no contact is crazy hard... I don't know how  And shifting obsessive thoughts and attention of my poa to my husband seems completely unimaginable |
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Post by Havefaith on Aug 23, 2017 17:39:44 GMT -8
Have you considered professional help, such as a counselor/therapist?
I know I needed help sorting through a lot of disordered thinking and desires that were not healthy for me I finally admitted I could not do this on my own, and the guidance I received (and continue to receive) from my therapist has been invaluable.
I also focused on a POA -- and built up some ridiculous fantasy in my head that I could not get rid of. It crowded out reality, and I could not make any rational decisions because I was not thinking clearly.
For me, therapy really shed a light onto my deep-seated issues, and then I was able to think and act in a manner that was emotionally healthy and mature.
In the meantime, I would drop the fantasy and focus on reality. Fantasy will get you nowhere (it got me love addicted!) but into further abject misery. Face reality -- think what needs to be done to make your life more manageable and give you the inner peace you desire.
HaveFaith
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Post by Lostandlonely on Aug 23, 2017 17:58:11 GMT -8
Have you considered professional help, such as a counselor/therapist? I know I needed help sorting through a lot of disordered thinking and desires that were not healthy for me I finally admitted I could not do this on my own, and the guidance I received (and continue to receive) from my therapist has been invaluable. I also focused on a POA -- and built up some ridiculous fantasy in my head that I could not get rid of. It crowded out reality, and I could not make any rational decisions because I was not thinking clearly. For me, therapy really shed a light onto my deep-seated issues, and then I was able to think and act in a manner that was emotionally healthy and mature. In the meantime, I would drop the fantasy and focus on reality. Fantasy will get you nowhere (it got me love addicted!) but into further abject misery. Face reality -- think what needs to be done to make your life more manageable and give you the inner peace you desire. HaveFaith Hi... Yes, I'm in counseling. I have currently just started a 12 week program with a therapist to help me figure this stuff out. I have my 2nd appointment with her tomorrow. Everything you describe is what is going on for me. I know that I'm living in fantasy and I know I'm being irrational but the addiction part of this makes it seem so real. Does that make sense? |
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Post by Havefaith on Aug 23, 2017 18:38:23 GMT -8
Yes, actually, it does make sense.
These are the 'mistaken beliefs' as my therapist calls them, that addiction feeds us.
Addiction is based on lies. It skews reality. It hides the truth under a facade of disordered thinking. It leaves the addict obsessed, and compulsively chasing after some fantasy dream world. The mistaken beliefs begin to take on a life of their own. We begin to believe the lies.
It is, quite simply, a miserable way to live.
I want to live a life of truth, grace, integrity, and inner peace.. Love Addiction offers us none of that, in fact, it snatches it all away.
I am in serious recovery, because I do not want addiction to steal from me anymore...
HaveFaith
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And shifting obsessive thoughts and attention of my poa to my husband seems completely unimaginable 