Read Me First

When I think of boundaries I like to think of Goldilocks. They must not be too weak or too strong but just right.

Love addicts who are also codependent have weak boundaries. They are people pleasers. They cannot say no. They do not know where they leave off and others begin. Love avoidants have strong boundaries to keep people out. They build walls instead of bridges.

Healthy relationships are like a dance. You hold on to someone but you keep some space between you to maneuver. When I taught my class Addiction to Love, I would draw circles on the chalk board. Love addicts had one circle within a another to represent a couple. Love Avoidants had two circles side by side. Healthy couples had circles that overlap.

Let's discuss boundaries on this. What you think is healthy and what worked for you in recovery. My partner and I have a king size bed. Sometimes we sleep on separate sides and sometimes we cuddle in the middle. It is not one or the other or both. Sometimes we need space and sometimes we need to come together. This is what emotional intimacy is all about.