The Progression of Love Addiction
Sept 13, 2017 10:49:23 GMT -8
loveelleng, JamesAndWhatNot, and 1 more like this
Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 13, 2017 10:49:23 GMT -8
I realized LA is not even an official addiction in DSM-V (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) the standard reference of mental disorder although it could be considered as a compulsive disorder.
Before we had the term love addict we used the terms co-alcoholic and codependent. In the DSM IV love addiction is referred to as an attachment disorder, borderline personality disorder, or a variant of obsessive compulsive disorder. I just call is hell on earth.
To measure the severity of your love addiction you must identify where you are on the progression . . .
The Progression of Addiction to Love
...the lover says, `I cannot love anyone else, I cannot give up loving, I cannot give up this love, for it would be the death of me and I would die of love.' Soren Kierkegaard in Works of Love
Contributing Factors
How fast and how far addiction to love can progress depends on:⋅ The love addict's level of attachment hunger ─ need
⋅ The age of the love addict ─ diminishing self-esteem in a youth-oriented culture
⋅ Failure heaped upon failure ─ mounting fears and diminished hope
⋅ Level of denial ─ I don't have a problem
⋅ Level of stubbornness about needing to change ─ I'll die trying
⋅ Refusal to get help ─ pride
⋅ Childhood experiences ─ trauma
Beginning Stage
Chronic Stage
In the chronic stage the symptoms of addiction to love are a way of life. Love addicts experience one addictive relationship after another and stress-related emotional and physical problems have begun to develop. Also, subsidiary addictions will now start to become a problem because the love addict is trying to find ways to take the edge off of his or her emotional pain.
Dying for Love
Typical Progression
⋅ Childhood trauma occurs;
⋅ An excessive hunger for love first appears;
⋅ Low self-esteem begins to develop;
⋅ A fear of abandonment and loneliness appear;
⋅ Emotional pain becomes apparent;
⋅ A need for relief increases;
⋅ Mood altering experiences are used to relieve anxiety;
⋅ Romantic fantasies become a fix;
⋅ A preoccupation with romance becomes habitual;
⋅ Relationships become a fix;
⋅ Unhealthy dependencies begin to appear;
⋅ An obsession with someone may occur;
⋅ Addictive thoughts and behavior become ritualized;
⋅ The patterns of addiction are repeated and become entrenched;
⋅ Problems associated with obsession and dependency develop;
⋅ Emotional distress appears;
⋅ Health problems appear;
⋅ Subsidiary addictions continue to progress;
⋅ Addiction to love becomes a problem;
⋅ The love addict loses control of his or her life;
⋅ Chronic depression sets in;
⋅ A crisis appears;
⋅ A life-threatening situation develops;
⋅ Danger is imminent;
⋅ Death or intervention occurs.