Monogamy & Recovery

Out in the modern world monogamy may be a choice but if you are in recovery for love addiction it is not. Recovery involves facing your fears of intimacy and of moving on to something better. The only way to do this is to stay focused on the person you are with and learn to overcome your fears of intimacy or face your fear of ending a relationship and moving on to something more fulfilling. An affair is a shortcut to avoid all this hard work. Also, monogamy is a chance to experience deeper levels of intimacy with one person which is something not everyone gets to experience in life



The thing about monogamy is that is the best opportunity of becoming the best person you can be. When you have more than one partner at the same time you only give a little bit of yourself to each one. I believe it is a way to avoid emotional intimacy.


I began my own recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is a spiritual program based on spiritual concepts. All I know about recovery from love addiction comes from what I learned about the power of spirituality and the power to heal. As I result I do not think recovery can support either adultery or an open marriage.
In an open marriage you would have to be completely honest with each other and not be jealous at all. If you really care about someone it is very difficult not to be jealous when they are with someone else.

Open marriages usually don't last very long because someone always get hurts. Things like them getting to close to one of their flings interfere and cause a lot of problems. You have to think what if he finds someone that he likes better than me and decides to leave me for them. Is being with other people that important to you or him that you want to put that in jeopardy.