Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 4, 2017 17:26:43 GMT -8
This is the google page for articles about the absent father. My son suffered from not only having an absent father but alo because the father figures I picked for him either abandoned or abused him. I regret this. Finally my son turned to God and found his needs met there. Ironically 25 years in recovery I did meet a nice man and he became my son's father figure. There was some healing but mostly this is a wound that sticks with you.
My father was never there. He and my mother were alcoholics. She was a malignant narcissist. He supported her, stayed in the background, enabled her, and provided the muscle to enforce any of her actions. I remember her random, late night drunken, narcissistic rages against me. While I was trying to do my high school homework, she would walk into my room, rage at me in a nonsensical, crazed torrent of words, then suddenly turn and leave the room, leaving me absolutely shredded, unable concentrate on my studies. My father sat in the living room watching TV while she screamed and raged at me, he never lifted a finger to help or protect me. The next morning it was Gaslight Central. I would go to bed confused, psychologically bruised, and totally alone. Nothing was ever said or done to repair the damage to me from the night before, or even acknowledge what had happened. I'm reading Pete Walker's Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. His book and especially Chapter 11 have helped me open the door to the grief and rage about my childhood and especially, my father.