Post by RoseNadler on Apr 29, 2019 9:47:04 GMT -8
Last night I got in the mood to google every person I’ve ever known. This isn’t always a good idea. I googled the last man I dated while L and I were split up. (December 2017 - January 2018.) It brought back my feelings of being rejected by him. (We had an instant chemical attraction when we met; then dated for about a month; then he ended it because he thought I was still too hung up on L.)
This man actually reminded me a lot of L; he was smart and witty and literate, all the things I like in a man; and the physical attraction was powerful. I think I wanted him because he was a lot like L.
Anyway, after he ended things with me (January 2018), I stopped texting him and over a period of a week or two, stopped looking for him online. Until last night. That was a mistake.
I had just had a good weekend with L, and I’m starting a new job Weds. Why did I have to bring this bad aftertaste from my past up again? Now I’m feeling anxiety once again. (“What if L dumps me? What if the job turns out to be terrible?”)
Why do I do things like this to myself?
This man actually reminded me a lot of L; he was smart and witty and literate, all the things I like in a man; and the physical attraction was powerful. I think I wanted him because he was a lot like L.
Anyway, after he ended things with me (January 2018), I stopped texting him and over a period of a week or two, stopped looking for him online. Until last night. That was a mistake.
I had just had a good weekend with L, and I’m starting a new job Weds. Why did I have to bring this bad aftertaste from my past up again? Now I’m feeling anxiety once again. (“What if L dumps me? What if the job turns out to be terrible?”)
Why do I do things like this to myself?