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Post by overcome on Mar 12, 2012 21:50:09 GMT -8
I never heard of this before, but apparently 10-20% people suffer from this after losing a loved one. Complicated Grief is a term for losing someone to death, but the similarities seem like withdrawal in LA. I wonder if approaching our healing should be in a similar way? www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200812/complicated-grief
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Post by Loving My Life on Mar 13, 2012 2:04:24 GMT -8
I believe it is like grieving a death, grieving the lost of a love that never was. Im at the end stages of this now, 9 months out. I know he never loved me, he led me on and told me what i wanted to hear. but i thank god that im on the other side now. I have just had to convince myself that he never existed....and it seems to be working....maybe down the road in a few months i can go back and look and see how all of this happened. but just for today, im not obsessing, im finally in reality again. But to me yes it feels just like a death.
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Mar 13, 2012 13:56:44 GMT -8
overcome...thanks for your post...all good information....i find myself....in moments..of grieving the loss of my mother....some days are better than others....somedays...i dont think about it or feel about it....and some days...i can feel her presence with me....maybe that happens so i miss her so much....She comes up alot lately....i fine myself...constantly saying well my mom said...on and on...and its because she did say it...i dont know what stage i am in....in a couple months we will be having her unveiling at the cemetery.... I never heard of complicated grief....Sun for just talking about it and feeling it helps alot..
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Post by Freetolive on Mar 13, 2012 18:08:25 GMT -8
I don't know what I'm going through, but I've been very sad today and angry. I feel like no one really cars about me. Like my friends are just not on the caring level. i know they have their own families but I just wished someone would call and ask how I'm doing. I usually reach out to them. So I want to say "F*CKUM ALL." I finally got home today. And played some very nice music and cried out to God. I told him I feel so alone, then I stated please don't abandon me like you have the starving folks in Africa. LOL. Yeah. I feel a little better. I looked up different outreaches. I want to find one that is not in it for themselves. I would like to see the folks in Africa have food and water. Oh well. Takes for this post. It's strange, as i was closing out, I thought, " I wished someone cared for me." Am I grieving not have a family. Most of my family have died. the reach I'm not close to. I was adopted, so I'm even missing whoever i came from. I've looked to the best of my ability. Tonight under my breathe, I cussed the woman that had me. Now I can't find her so screw her. I don't know if I really feel this way, but it felt good saying it.
I really don't want to say screw people, but i sure do feel like it sometimes. I just want to scream at them, you naive motherf*ckers, don't you see your friend is hurting? Are you f*cking so blind?"
Oh well. Guess I'm supposed to love me. Why not. I'm all I have anyway. (sounds like self pity from a 10 year old) God bless the Mess. It could be a hell of a lot worse. That's for sure, but this is how i feel. Maybe I'm the selfish one.
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Post by Freetolive on Mar 14, 2012 3:43:03 GMT -8
I feel better today. Well manageable let's say. I'm still aware there is some sadness. I wrote last night about how much i felt alone growing up. Like I was on the outside looking in. I've started feeling this way again. I wrote a lot about coming up as a only child and wanting someone to play with. I remembered a birthday party up the street, how i walked up that way and sat in a ditch listening to them laugh and have a good time. I had forgot about this. LOL. I'm confused, am I supposed to look at this stuff? Am I going to stay stuck in emotional pain forever? Going in and out?
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Post by Loving My Life on Mar 14, 2012 4:29:28 GMT -8
free, I also woke up this morning and i feel like ive had an emotional relapse, i just cant get motivated to do much, plus ive been sick. So iam going to reach out to my aa friends and let them know how iam feeling, so that can give me a extra push to get moving again. we have to let people know how we are feeling, there not mind readers, and in recovery we have to learn how to ask for help when we are hurting. I commented on this thread yesterday...please see the above post....
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Mar 14, 2012 13:46:52 GMT -8
freetolive....i believe u are doing exactly what u are supposed to be doing....you dont sound stuck....you are talking out it....u are writing about..it....what i would do after that..is to talk to my higher power about it....and then thats it.....and see what happens and share with us your thoughts...and what u heard you hp tell u....i also would write all this out and put it in my God box....and believe me when i tell u....when i do that...its my way of turning it over......and then on to the next.....its okay what u are feeling....feelings really are a scary ....this too shall pass...give yourself a great big hug....and here is one from me to u......and we all care for u....we will love u unitil u can love yourself and then we will love even more....Sun
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