Post by RoseNadler on Feb 19, 2020 18:12:44 GMT -8
I was doing so well lately. The anxiety has come back less often and less strongly. I’ve felt safer, more stable, more secure.
Then today, my supervisor told me that our contract might not be renewed, and we might be out of jobs.
JHFC!! I haven’t even been in this job a whole year yet!
If this happens, it will be the sixth time I’ve been laid off from a job. You read that right - six.
At least if it’s a lay-off due to financial bullsh1t - that isn’t my fault. Last time I lost a job, I was outright fired. That’s worse than being laid off.
Because it’s only a possibility and not a certainty, I have not told L. In a way this is good - why make him think about it if it doesn’t happen? In a way, though, it’s hard, because it would ease my mind to share this with somebody.
So, I’m sharing it here, with my support group.
After all the upheavals and losses I’ve had in the past few years - JHC, do I *really* have to go through this again?
I’m asking my Higher Power to help me out here. Please, God, help me to deal with whatever happens with my job. You know I hate upheavals and instability. And I envy people who have solid marriages, stable jobs, houses, etc. I’m trying very hard not to envy people who have things that I want. I’m trying to be grateful for the good things I do have. But right now, I feel like I’m never going to be secure.
What if….I could do Step Three BEFORE my life becomes a total disaster?