How to Handle Limited Contact Without Losing Dignity

Wow. It looks like he made some major changes to his life - or changes happened to him, anyway.

My vitamins arrived today, at least he inadvertently paid for them.

And yes, major changes they are.For both of us.

The employer lied?

Well, try not to waste time wondering about why that happened. Focus on how you will respond to that.

Did things quiet down?

From your descriptions, this xPoA is not too functional. How'd he make it this far in life? I have an idea, but will leave the question there.

As for his job lying to you, try calling another line with somebody else. Say you are a current employer seeking to check his dates of employment. All they are able to tell you BY LAW is his dates of employment. That's it.

Keep preparing those tax returns - TIS the SEASON.

I have not made anymore phone calls: it felt embarrassing last time when the secretary was almost putting me down.
It felt like R was rolling his eyes, while instructing her to lie to this nonsense telling broad(me), he struck a pose like he was such a hot stuff.

I have been relatively indifferent for many months now. It does not make me un-addict, what I'm sure of is that this particular PoA has seized to be one for me.

I'm very much aware of what not to do.
Regardless, there is still lots of unknown ahead of me but one thing I know for certain:

No more love bombing in my vicinity.
I do not even hate him. He will continue to be miserable attention seeker etc.
Codependency is that appears to be a very difficult thing to manage.
I'm yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know money is tight for you - but could you maybe talk to a lawyer?

I have come across a quite interesting document: it is being called a " domestic partnership" that we both, R and I signed a couple of years ago at the local bank and they actually notarized it. We mailed it to his previous job, RadissonBlu in Chicago and I got some of his benefits: dental, vision and I believe, life insurance as a beneficiary.


I guess, it makes his obligations legal, doesn't it?

He did marry her: she texted me her marriage license on 12/30/2020.

i did some searching and it turns out that still Domestic Partnership carries some legal value and has to be terminated once deemed necessary.

In other words, him marrying someone else does not cancel out preexisting documents.

Well, now it is going to be matter-of-key only with R.

I sent an email this morning stating that this is an attempt to collect debt. I have itemized what is being owed.

R is being a bad apple or rather " a bad sheep " of his family-nobody is taking him seriously.

I know that. He knows that. A new victim does not. Yet.

Thank you RoseNadler,

I will never go back to him ever.

Keep in mind that he got married even though for seductive withholders and malignant narcissists legal attachment exist as long as they suit their needs.
Regardless, I am so over it, he can crawl to China as far as I am concern.

A bigger issue is not to fall into similar trap again. I am observing how I interact with people on a daily basis now.

I am aware that addicts love immediate gratification but I, after very careful consideration, sent two consecutive emails(Yesterday and today) titled" This is an attempt to collect debt" to that woman: R has been responding out of this email address.

I basically asked to send me Jan and Feb rent payments with quotes of his a week's old emailed responses that:

1. Landlord will get rent:" I’m responsible for half the rent which C will get .
<Domestic Partnership Affidevit.jpg>"

2." I don’t know where you got this fake document from I’m going to check into it with S the only thing we have together is a lease until April and the only reason I signed was so your daughter could go to HS . You destroy everything you come into contact with do not text emal me again . All of a sudden you find this fake document have your exhusband and your ex fiancée your doctors support you . The only thing iIm paying is half of the rent don’t contact phone or email ever again . I’m going to check my credit to see what credit card you have in my name if there’s anything without my signature I’m pressing charges."

He calls domestic partnership affidavit " fake" and refers to a federal judge, S who happened to be married to his cousin- I met all of them. He implies that S, all of a sudden, drops everything she is working on in a federal building in downtown Chicago and comes to his rescue.

I really have nothing to lose.

I have sent a letter to his corporate office downstate last week. Not really asking to make him pay but rather to see if there might be funds available to me because of this and that.

His cell phone is disconnected.

All I can do is write now.

If this does not work, I basically going to give up. I am not going to camp outside of his assisted living joint, that would be too much even for me.

I copied his management ( I got all email addresses of them because I was the one who applied for him for this position and I was on a receiving end of all work communication until recently) on my plea for help from him.

I am not sure what is going to happen next but I am so fed up with this.

We will see how things are to transpire.

I really can't work any regular job, like normal people anymore.

I have autoimmune Hashimoto's which is pretty nasty.
Can't stand on my feet for longer periods of time: it's being called Plantar Fasciitis. In plain language: the tissue that runs along the bottom of the foot, fascia has been torn.