His phone says "unable to receive calls at the moment"- meaning that he did not disconnect it but yet did not make a payment to have it on, not able to receive texts either.
Did not zelle me a penny as of the last scandal with his new wifie screaming her lungs out and calling me names.
My certified letter that I mailed out on the 01/11/2021 to his work, got lost by USPS.
I called his work on the 15th and then I think a week later, and I was told that he was not available.
I called today and the same lady answered that he is no longer working there and gave me a phone number to their corporate.
The credit card he gave me back in the fall to make Toyota payments that was not welcomed by toyota, I used a couple times recently, got declined today.
My attorney advised me to collect from him, refused to elaborate further today saying that R owes him money, too( he represents him in his DUI case, which I believe still going ). So it is , unclear whether R lost or not his current job.
In order to apply for a new job, he needs:
a resume which is on my hard drive or at least an original social security card which is also in my house, I just came across it.
Not that I am worried about his inability to get re-employed but he is on the lease.
I do not think the staff would be lying to me about him no longer working there, it is really rude and unprofessional.
From your descriptions, this xPoA is not too functional. How'd he make it this far in life? I have an idea, but will leave the question there.
As for his job lying to you, try calling another line with somebody else. Say you are a current employer seeking to check his dates of employment. All they are able to tell you BY LAW is his dates of employment. That's it.
Keep preparing those tax returns - TIS the SEASON.
I'm doing okay, under the circumstances. Tax returns, translations, tutoring, social security cards fixing- when someone needs to get rid of that language: Valid with employment authorization only"- I do it all, I will take care of you, no worries: this my daily mantra.
I have not made anymore phone calls: it felt embarrassing last time when the secretary was almost putting me down. It felt like R was rolling his eyes, while instructing her to lie to this nonsense telling broad(me), he struck a pose like he was such a hot stuff.
Instead of calls I might write a short, laconic, adjectives free letter to his boss asking to help squeeze rent money from him. I'm very hesitant. The certified letter that I mailed in early January, was successfully lost by USPS.
I'm still vacillating: I don't want to come across as someone who is really desperate.
I have been relatively indifferent for many months now. It does not make me un-addict, what I'm sure of is that this particular PoA has seized to be one for me.
I'm very much aware of what not to do. Regardless, there is still lots of unknown ahead of me but one thing I know for certain:
No more love bombing in my vicinity. I do not even hate him. He will continue to be miserable attention seeker etc. Codependency is that appears to be a very difficult thing to manage. I'm yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, there are a few tax relevant documents that arrived last week: W-2, some insurance and 401K statements.
Without them, he most likely would not be able to get his taxes done. As well as 2019 taxes had not been done either: recently I stumbled upon them in some folder. Obviously, he has been sloppy- usual himself failing to change his address at work. Please note, he ran away on May 2nd of 2020. Any suggestions please?
I have come across a quite interesting document: it is being called a " domestic partnership" that we both, R and I signed a couple of years ago at the local bank and they actually notarized it. We mailed it to his previous job, RadissonBlu in Chicago and I got some of his benefits: dental, vision and I believe, life insurance as a beneficiary.
I guess, it makes his obligations legal, doesn't it?
Well, R is being himself. Once they saw Domestic partnership Affidavit, they realized that they are screwed. It does carry certain legal value even marriage license is more significant: thank you SexlessW.
Now R calls our document "fake" and in writing: he responded to my email sent to the only known and active email which is hers.
Calling things you don't like "fake" is so manipulative and widely over used by someone as manipulative as R! I also forwarded to R an email I got from my landlord last night stating that R reached out to him in January. R informed him he moved out and was not intended to renew the lease. Also asked for the mailing address to send "his portion " of rent. The landlord gave him both: zelle account as well as his mailing address. No funds has been received.
What really got me worried now that I might have restarted feeding off his ego by emailing, asking for rent money etc. I need balance and by calling I mean, emailing I inadvertently creating this illusion for him that he is "hot stuff".
At least, the way he has been responding via her email, shows his typical arrogance and "name dropping". He says that " I will have Sharon look into it" referring to domestic partnership affidavit and Sharon being a federal judge, appointed by Obama.
She is married to his cousin, I met her on a couple of "family" gathering where R took me as a "trophy'. including Sharon's inauguration. Now, R is bragging in front of his new victim: I know that Sharon would not be involved in any case discussion, it is against her professional code of ethics.
Keep in mind that he got married even though for seductive withholders and malignant narcissists legal attachment exist as long as they suit their needs. Regardless, I am so over it, he can crawl to China as far as I am concern.
A bigger issue is not to fall into similar trap again. I am observing how I interact with people on a daily basis now.
I am not sure how smart it was but, after futile multiple attempts to collect and subsequently hitting a wall of verbal/written abuse from R, I went ahead and sent a short, yet well documented letter to his job asking to help me out.
It might backfire, I really do not care any more: walking on eggshells etc.
I am aware that addicts love immediate gratification but I, after very careful consideration, sent two consecutive emails(Yesterday and today) titled" This is an attempt to collect debt" to that woman: R has been responding out of this email address.
I basically asked to send me Jan and Feb rent payments with quotes of his a week's old emailed responses that:
1. Landlord will get rent:" I’m responsible for half the rent which C will get . <Domestic Partnership Affidevit.jpg>"
2." I don’t know where you got this fake document from I’m going to check into it with S the only thing we have together is a lease until April and the only reason I signed was so your daughter could go to HS . You destroy everything you come into contact with do not text emal me again . All of a sudden you find this fake document have your exhusband and your ex fiancée your doctors support you . The only thing iIm paying is half of the rent don’t contact phone or email ever again . I’m going to check my credit to see what credit card you have in my name if there’s anything without my signature I’m pressing charges."
He calls domestic partnership affidavit " fake" and refers to a federal judge, S who happened to be married to his cousin- I met all of them. He implies that S, all of a sudden, drops everything she is working on in a federal building in downtown Chicago and comes to his rescue.
I really have nothing to lose.
I have sent a letter to his corporate office downstate last week. Not really asking to make him pay but rather to see if there might be funds available to me because of this and that.
His cell phone is disconnected.
All I can do is write now.
If this does not work, I basically going to give up. I am not going to camp outside of his assisted living joint, that would be too much even for me.
I copied his management ( I got all email addresses of them because I was the one who applied for him for this position and I was on a receiving end of all work communication until recently) on my plea for help from him.
I am not sure what is going to happen next but I am so fed up with this.
I really can't work any regular job, like normal people anymore.
I have autoimmune Hashimoto's which is pretty nasty. Can't stand on my feet for longer periods of time: it's being called Plantar Fasciitis. In plain language: the tissue that runs along the bottom of the foot, fascia has been torn.
There's no cure: you cannot restore or regrow it back. Picture a piece of fabric that is worn out over the time. That was has been going in the right foot. Now I am having similar pain it the left foot.