|
|
Step 3
Jun 17, 2020 12:38:44 GMT -8
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 17, 2020 12:38:44 GMT -8
Third Step Prayer
God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
That victory over them may bear witness
To those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy love and Thy way of life,
May I do Thy will always!
Attached you will find Step 3. You can download it to your computer and type right on the document. 
Take a moment to write your own third step prayer. This is from one of our members. Thanks Lou . . .
Thank you for always looking after me and being here with me constantly. I know you are here as I can feel you in my heart. Thank you for removing all the false thoughts and beliefs I can have that cause me suffering and pain and for reminding me frequently of who I really am. Thank you for always supporting me and for bringing into my life all the people and opportunities now that bring me so much Joy, Love, Peace and Abundance. Thank you for lighting the way. I let go and align my heart to yours and let your love do the work. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
Louise 2021 Attachments:LAA Step 3 New.doc (25 KB)
|
|
|
|
Step 3
May 19, 2021 10:47:26 GMT -8
Post by marguebirdsong on May 19, 2021 10:47:26 GMT -8
ok. I took the step and I mean it
|
|
RoseNadler
Moderator
Newcomer Greeter & Moderator
Posts: 1,068
|
Step 3
May 20, 2021 5:52:53 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by RoseNadler on May 20, 2021 5:52:53 GMT -8
Three can be challenging. I’ve struggled with it. But when you really mean it, you will know - and IMHO, that moment counts as your Step Three.
|
|
kitt
New Member
Posts: 14
|
Step 3
Jul 5, 2021 9:48:27 GMT -8
Post by kitt on Jul 5, 2021 9:48:27 GMT -8
Step 3- I came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore meto sanity. 1.
How have I acted on self-will so far? Did my attempts to control
others or control my own emotions interfere with Higher Power taking care of me? I am self willed and self directed. I do what I want, sometimes taking
directions for others that cause chaos in my life A.Controlling- I try to control my environment and sometimes except
other to follow and do what I want them to do. Giving them
reminders of things they should know to do themselves.
B.Avoiding and isolating- I like to be alone and often spend hours alone when I should be sharingmy life with my husband and family. C. Negative caretaking- I don take care of myself but try to take care
of others. I negative self talk, my self esteem is low
D.Using others – I use others by expecting them to be around when I
want. They end to control my ups and downs. I flirt with others on
occasion to make myself feel better.
E.Aggression - I have a temper and get easily angry when things
dont go as I expect them to go. I will destroy property that I later
regret.
F. Acting on impulse- I have ADD so Im very impulsive. I do
things before I think about what I am doing causing difficulties at
home and at my job.
G.Obsessing and acting out [calling, texting, emails] – I acted out
my bottom line behaviors and have little control over my obsessions and lack having a clear mind.
2.
How has acting on self-will affected my life?
A.
I have gotten in trouble at work. My home life is a painful place I don’t want to be.
3.
What fears and reservations do I have making this decision?
A.
That I will fail connecting with my HP.
4.
Can I make the decision to surrender myself to the care of a Higher Power with a willingness
to give up self-hatred and behavior that harms me, harms my health and prevents me from taking care of myself and my own needs? A.Yes, I can with prayer, meditation and my top line behaviors. I can let God guide me, my future
endeavors because I know that He can fix it and give me the stregth i need to continued
evolving into a sane person instead of the insanity I have been living.
Bow your head with a friend of mentor and recite the third step prayer.
Memorize it first. Reflect on how you feel right now and about how
far you have come.
Reflection- I have come a long way in understanding my behaviors. I understand
that have been powerless over love and my life has been very unmanageable with a/o
behaviors, I have self harmed in many ways by thinking the worse of myself, not taking
my meds as I should, harming myself physically and having uncontrollable fears that
weren’t warranted. But things are becoming easier to understand
through reading and speakig with others with the same afflictions in
group. Thank you o providing me with clear directions and the information need for my recovery.
|
|
lianita24
Full Member
Russian Liaison
Posts: 130
|
Post by lianita24 on Aug 13, 2021 19:52:29 GMT -8
A friend of mine S. asked me to post her life stories to the steps (I am going to Russian meetings too and I was need to translate it).
Third step: assignment to God.
I always say such a phrase that the assignment for me there is the following:
as for a person who has no legs, these person will never run on the lawn and play football, nevertheless, I had the acceptance of such a vision as I am "disabled" in quotes, I was grown up in a destructive family, in this regard, certain concepts and behavioral models are embedded in me, with which it is pointless to fight.
Considering all this, I must accept this fact that I am a spiritual disabled person and, with my love addiction, I cannot do anything about it. Already being in the community, I refuted both, the first step and the third, several times and continued to steer, to control, and started some kind of relationship, but until I accepted my powerlessness and turned over to God, I continued to get sick.
|
|
|
|
Post by gemini on Dec 14, 2021 9:57:46 GMT -8
Third Step: Assigning to God
Controlling: I band aid my emotions by becoming addicted to a man’s love and attention. By controlling the situation of my loneliness, I turn to other people (men) in hopes to find inner peace and joy. However, the love and comfort I sought only turn to hurt and emptiness, because it couldn’t be provided by unhealthy people who were emotionally unavailable.
Avoiding and isolating: I avoided the root of the problem by looking for external gratification. Despite it all, I still find void and emptiness in inside. It’s like I have gaping hole in my heart that could not be filled. It wants more! Only when I turned to my higher power, did I realize that the love I sought has always been inside me all this time. I just needed to surrender and give up control to hear my inner calm and power to surface.
Negative caretaking: I carried my inner sufferings with me everywhere. I lost motivation and joy in my work, career, and even to those who are in my inner circle such as friends and family. I turned to obsessive impulses to connect with a man who cares very little about me. I checked my phone incessantly for unanswered text messages. It’s ironic how my loneliness gets quick fixes from crumbs of texts and a man’s attention. I began to negatively look after myself and my well being with my obsessive thoughts that if only I could be with him then all will get better. I have selfishly acted on impulse, obsessing, and acting out [calling and texting].
Until I finally surrendered and made the decision to the care of a Higher Power with a willingness to give up self-hatred and behavior that harms me, harms my health, and prevents me from taking care of myself and my own needs. I stopped the insanity by deciding to go No Contact and accepted the situation of unrequited love. I prioritized myself and learned to honor myself when there was no one else to turn to. Surrendering to my Higher Power allowed me to accept and honor myself.
|
|
|
|
Step 3
Feb 13, 2022 6:50:52 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by antranetted on Feb 13, 2022 6:50:52 GMT -8
My Third Step Prayer
Divine Mother, you know what’s best for me, and I don’t right now. I cannot figure this out, help me. I offer all that I am to you. Thank you. It is in impossible for me to make use of myself and live. I’m
nothing without your divine support, I open. Thank you for helping me to live in this world. Thank you for helping me to be useful. I love you and I know that you love me. We are One. And so it is. And so it shall Be.
|
|
|
|
Step 3
Mar 4, 2022 4:42:55 GMT -8
Post by Linda S. on Mar 4, 2022 4:42:55 GMT -8
LAA Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.The Sunday Step Study Meeting had a wonderful time in February digging deep into Step 2, and now we will move onto Step 3 on 6th March. Whilst it is helpful to attend all sessions (we complete a Step a month over the year), it is not essential; you can join us at any time. We use the LAA Step Guide and supplement it with other resources helpful to understanding and working the steps, heavily drawing on members' experience, strength and hope. We are not working the Steps as a group, but are discussing the LAA questions from the step work. Some find a sponsor, decide to work together with another member, or co-sponsor each other, making connections through attending these meetings. We hope you will join us, whatever stage of the journey you are on. Third Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness To those I would help of Thy Power, Thy love and Thy way of life, May I do Thy will always! Step Study Meeting
2.00 to 3.30 p.m./14.00 to 15.30 Eastern Time Meeting ID: 895 1971 5053 Passcode: 413263 |
|
RoseNadler
Moderator
Newcomer Greeter & Moderator
Posts: 1,068
|
Post by RoseNadler on Mar 5, 2022 13:41:36 GMT -8
This morning I had a brand-new thought about Step Three.
I’ve been in recovery for three years, and I go to an in-person CoDA meeting on Saturdays. The first Saturday of the month, we talk about the Step that goes with the number of the month. Since this is March, we did Step Three.
I had my own Step Three experience just about three years ago. My life was a mess and everything I tried just seemed to make matters worse. So I decided to let go, let things unfold the way they were going to unfold and accept that, and hope that God (or somebody) would have mercy on me, and get me through whatever was going to happen.
So. I had my Step Three moment — after years of struggling with that step. I’m addicted to getting my own way, think I know how everything should happen, and generally have a terrible time letting go of things. But at that point, my life was such a mess, I was out of ideas.
So - here’s the brand-new thought I had about Step Three this morning:
What if….things didn’t have to get that bad before I would let go of them?
What if I could do Step Three (let go and let God) BEFORE my life was a disaster?
It gave me something to think about.
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda S. on Mar 5, 2022 14:13:36 GMT -8
How I can resonate. I'm reminded of this great quote: "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it." David Foster Wallace. I agree, surrender and letting go and letting God is the answer.  |
|
Cheryl
Junior Member
Posts: 72
|
Post by Cheryl on Jun 15, 2022 11:30:39 GMT -8
I was trying to control everything I could because I felt out of control. I criticized my husband because I thought this was bringing him closer to me. I wanted him to act the way I wanted him to act. I wanted him to pay attention and thought controlling him would offer that to me. It didn’t work. It only frustrated me, put me in a bad mood, and made me sad, which unplugged me from Source and disconnected me taking me out of alignment and into a dark place.
When controlling didn’t work, I became avoidant and isolating. I stayed away, stopped cooking and cleaning, and withered away in my sadness (which is also controlling). Then, I realized that this isn’t changing him, so I would apologize for it and try to make things right again…, which meant I was back to being controlling (which I never really stopped doing).
Acting on self-will sucks the life out of me. It’s empty. It leaves me cold, empty, and wanting more “crumbs” because that’s all I get from acting out on self-will.
I don’t use and abuse others. I am not aggressive or violent. I don’t act out. I just shut down, get silent, and wither away in sadness, unfortunately, which only hurts me.
**That all changed about three weeks ago. I began changing my behavior and stopped being controlling. I stopped talking altogether, actually, because I realized I felt embarrassed at my behavior. I’m better than this. I don’t need to act this way to receive love or attention or whatever! I got mad at myself, bought a book, joined a group, and am actively changing me.
I wrote him an email saying as much. I’m hoping that knowing that I am going to stop my negative, controlling behavior and change will allow me to be nice to him, as I am so angry that I can’t stand to look at him. (My last relationship was with a real live narcissist who lied compulsively, trashed me, left me, and exhausted me. I can’t believe I fell for this again!)
My current focus is completing these 12 steps, working on ME, reading my book and other resources, making and “doing” boundaries, changing, and loving myself for all my amazing, wonderful qualities. In other words, I’m focused on Recovery.
I don’t need a man to feel good about myself, and I need to figure out why I keep attracting these particular men. Since my current husband doesn’t ever want to have sex anyway, I feel I have the room to make these changes with LC. He is also non-confrontational, so that gives me even more room to change and do my thing. (He tries to control in very, very different ways, such as withholding and avoiding, which actually might work out to my benefit.)
Here is my prayer to Source:
Source, thank you for loving me and never leaving me alone on my own. You show me this in little and big ways that I am now noticing all the time daily. You recognize me, you know my situation, and you are sending lots of help through resources, other humans, groups, and activities that leave me feeling healthy, happy, and excited about life. I will continue focus on coming into alignment with you every day, healing, and allowing my connection to you to change me. This will bear witness to what being tuned into you will do to help all humans grow, change, and evolve, and the most important, live happy, content, and fulfilling lives!
|
|
abby
New Member
Posts: 2
|
Post by abby on Jul 22, 2022 9:34:57 GMT -8
1.How have I acted on self-will so far? Did my attempts to control others or control my own emotions interfere with Higher Power taking care of me?
I have acted on self- will so far by obsessing over how I look, how I act, and what I do in attempt to find the “perfect partner”. By bullying myself and feeling as though I needed to work harder, aka, try harder to grasp control, in order to earn love. I have also acted on self will by begging and manipulating people to stay in my life when it was clearly no longer healthy relationships for either of us. This interfered with letting my higher power take care of me, because it prevented me from letting go and moving on as I was meant to.
2.How has acting on self-will affected my life?
Trying so hard to control my relationships and control myself in order to attract relationships has stolen joy from my life many times. It has taken opportunities for fun memories and turned them into anxiety and self- hate.
3.What fears and reservations do I have making this decision?
My only fear is that my higher power won’t take the pain away from me quick enough and that I wont have the strength to be patient and not relapse.
4.Can I make the decision to surrender myself to the care of a Higher Power with a willingness to give up self-hatred and behavior that harms me, harms my health and prevents me from taking care of myself and my own needs?
Yes, I am making the decision to surrender all of my self-harming behaviors to my higher power, my higher self, who will keep me focused on my desire for a happier healthier life and guide me toward true joy and inner peace.
|
|
