Post by RoseNadler on Nov 8, 2020 8:11:55 GMT -8
RoseNadler - formerly known as LostKate. I’ve been here since April 2019.
My biggest fear is abandonment. What I’ve gained from being here:
Some days, I actually suspect I might be OK if I had to be on my own again. (Not every day. But this is a process.)
I think I understand my own personality better, and the things in my life that brought me here. IMHO, life is both fate and free will. It’s like a poker game: fate is the cards you are dealt. Free will is how you choose to play those cards.
Yes, I got handed a couple of tough cards. But I also made some bad plays.
The Third Step says to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God. I was totally there for a few hours sometime in May or June 2019. Since then, I’ve had to work to stay there. All I can do is ask my HP to help me.
I’m not perfect - I’m very aware that I am flawed. BUT - I haven’t acted out since February 2018. (Yes, before I came here - I wasn’t purposefully doing a recovery program yet, but I already knew I had to stop with the bull s h I t.)
And I think that staying away from my drug of choice is MUCH better in-program than out of program. Either way, you’re abstaining. But the program gives you something emotionally nourishing to take the place of the drug of choice.
My biggest fear is abandonment. What I’ve gained from being here:
Some days, I actually suspect I might be OK if I had to be on my own again. (Not every day. But this is a process.)
I think I understand my own personality better, and the things in my life that brought me here. IMHO, life is both fate and free will. It’s like a poker game: fate is the cards you are dealt. Free will is how you choose to play those cards.
Yes, I got handed a couple of tough cards. But I also made some bad plays.
The Third Step says to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God. I was totally there for a few hours sometime in May or June 2019. Since then, I’ve had to work to stay there. All I can do is ask my HP to help me.
I’m not perfect - I’m very aware that I am flawed. BUT - I haven’t acted out since February 2018. (Yes, before I came here - I wasn’t purposefully doing a recovery program yet, but I already knew I had to stop with the bull s h I t.)
And I think that staying away from my drug of choice is MUCH better in-program than out of program. Either way, you’re abstaining. But the program gives you something emotionally nourishing to take the place of the drug of choice.
