RoseNadler - formerly known as LostKate. I’ve been here since April 2019.
My biggest fear is abandonment. What I’ve gained from being here:
Some days, I actually suspect I might be OK if I had to be on my own again. (Not every day. But this is a process.)
I think I understand my own personality better, and the things in my life that brought me here. IMHO, life is both fate and free will. It’s like a poker game: fate is the cards you are dealt. Free will is how you choose to play those cards.
Yes, I got handed a couple of tough cards. But I also made some bad plays.
The Third Step says to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God. I was totally there for a few hours sometime in May or June 2019. Since then, I’ve had to work to stay there. All I can do is ask my HP to help me.
I’m not perfect - I’m very aware that I am flawed. BUT - I haven’t acted out since February 2018. (Yes, before I came here - I wasn’t purposefully doing a recovery program yet, but I already knew I had to stop with the bull s h I t.)
And I think that staying away from my drug of choice is MUCH better in-program than out of program. Either way, you’re abstaining. But the program gives you something emotionally nourishing to take the place of the drug of choice.
Hi, I'm Linda and I'm a recovering codependent love addict. I attended my first LAA meeting on 25th June, 2020.
The biggest benefits so far have been: - recognizing and accepting my powerlessness and unmanageability over this area of my life; - working the 12 steps on my core and most profound issue - love addiction; - access to some of the best literature and resources on the subject on this website and board; - finding a community of people who I can really, really relate to - my tribe, as I lovingly think of you all (I may never meet any of you as all the meetings I attend are on Zoom, but I am developing wonderful friendships); - an improved marriage where I am learning to set boundaries, ask for my needs to be met, value and respect myself and my husband, and to love in a non-conditional and interdependent way; - a deeper than ever dependence on and trust in God; - an opportunity to do service.
And the best is yet to come! I am beyond grateful.
Last Edit: Nov 8, 2020 13:33:43 GMT -8 by Linda S.
Hallo I'm Light and joined this great board on may 2009!
I gained so much from this community and from the wise contents present in this Forum.
When I joined the board I was desperate, I felt I was going crazy and my life was unmanageble.
Suddenly I felt welcomed and I felt I was in a safe place and I was surrounded by many people who, like me, was struggling with Love Addiction. I was not crazy! And there was Hope. I could join the Program and make progress!
This was life-changing. I now understand how much I owe to this board...
Slowly I took my life in my hands again, the pain became milder and my clarity of mind returned.
I worked the steps, read books, prayed, maditated and shared my thoughts and feelings with others, with no fear.
Love Addiction is a hell that we tend to forget as we heal, but it's important to remember how we were feeling at the time so not to fall again in that terrible trap.
Today I have a life that I love, full of peace and interests and love. I live it day by day , appreciating the present hour.
I know myself better and lerned to love myself.
I still have, sometimes, moments of weakness and temptations, but the strenght of Recovery, my Faith and my Will protect me.
Thank you Linda for starting this thread, thank you Susan for creating it and for your studies on Love Addiction and thank you to all the members of the board!
Rose Nadler and Light, thank you so very much for letting us know how this programme and fellowship have helped you, it is so encouraging and wonderful to hear how your lives have changed. God bless you.
Last Edit: Dec 19, 2020 15:56:40 GMT -8 by Linda S.