I did something s t u p I d this morning
Dec 24, 2020 9:34:05 GMT -8
via mobile
havefaith, terra, and 1 more like this
Post by RoseNadler on Dec 24, 2020 9:34:05 GMT -8
I have an ex-POA from 30 years ago (no, that’s not a typo), and we are FB friends. I use the word “friends” loosely - we rarely hit like or comment on each other’s posts (or even see each other’s posts.)
When we were together, I was the classic LA with all the addictive behaviors going full blast. I think I really was a little bit mentally unstable. After three miserable years, we broke up. I accepted it out of sheer exhaustion, and we both moved on with our lives.
Years ago (I don’t even remember when), we had some contact. By that time, I had had some recovery and mental health help. I admitted to him that I was wrong when we were together, and apologized for my behavior.
Since then, we’ve both been married and divorced, had other partners, and generally gotten on with our lives.
Today I made the mistake of reading posts on his FB thread, just catching up on what he and his kids have been doing. I saw that he has a fairly recent new GF. Scrolling back further, I saw that he had broken up with a previous GF (whom I had liked - as far as you can like someone you’ve seen only on FB and never interacted with.)
I went to the previous GF’s FB, and from things she posted, I gather that he was the one to dump her.
Now I’m feeling a little sad and indignant on her behalf.
This is a woman who doesn’t even know I exist, and my ex-POA is no longer part of my life. The new GF might be a perfectly OK person. Maybe there were good reasons for the breakup. It’s really NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
I got off FB and have made a new boundary: No reading old threads on former POAs’ social media — even “just to see how they’ve been doing.”
Because I’m a little annoyed and hurt at a POA from 30 years ago on behalf of a woman I don’t even know. I empathize with her — because a long time ago, I too was his dumped exGF.
I don’t think this is a major disruption in my recovery. But it is a sobering reminder that (for me anyway) I will need to be careful for the rest of my life.
When we were together, I was the classic LA with all the addictive behaviors going full blast. I think I really was a little bit mentally unstable. After three miserable years, we broke up. I accepted it out of sheer exhaustion, and we both moved on with our lives.
Years ago (I don’t even remember when), we had some contact. By that time, I had had some recovery and mental health help. I admitted to him that I was wrong when we were together, and apologized for my behavior.
Since then, we’ve both been married and divorced, had other partners, and generally gotten on with our lives.
Today I made the mistake of reading posts on his FB thread, just catching up on what he and his kids have been doing. I saw that he has a fairly recent new GF. Scrolling back further, I saw that he had broken up with a previous GF (whom I had liked - as far as you can like someone you’ve seen only on FB and never interacted with.)
I went to the previous GF’s FB, and from things she posted, I gather that he was the one to dump her.
Now I’m feeling a little sad and indignant on her behalf.
This is a woman who doesn’t even know I exist, and my ex-POA is no longer part of my life. The new GF might be a perfectly OK person. Maybe there were good reasons for the breakup. It’s really NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
I got off FB and have made a new boundary: No reading old threads on former POAs’ social media — even “just to see how they’ve been doing.”
Because I’m a little annoyed and hurt at a POA from 30 years ago on behalf of a woman I don’t even know. I empathize with her — because a long time ago, I too was his dumped exGF.
I don’t think this is a major disruption in my recovery. But it is a sobering reminder that (for me anyway) I will need to be careful for the rest of my life.
