Post by claires on Mar 18, 2021 5:36:49 GMT -8
It has almost been one week of No Contact. I am trying so hard to get through this but I feel so empty inside. I have made lists of things I didn't care for. I have written negative things about how I felt but truthfully, this person represented more positive than negative for me and therefore, it is difficult for me to make this strategy work. I just keep telling myself that it is impossible for us to be together (which is true) and there is no point wasting any more of my energy ruminating and reminiscing about us. My mind wants to fantasize constantly. But now there is no email to check. No texts from him. It's like trying to quit smoking but you miss the actual act of smoking...like bringing the cigarette out and lighting it after a meal etc.....like this all became something you are addicted to (not just the nicotine). I was addicted to the whole process of him and that is what I cannot seem to shake. I have to work although I have not been overly productive. I have to still live my life but dang, this is so difficult.
The only thing I keep telling myself is that it is important to live authentically and be in the present. If you are knee deep in an affair, you are not living authentically. If you are hoping and waiting for the day you can finally be with someone, you are not truly living in the present. I keep telling myself this as well as the fact that I had zero peace when I was in this. I had moments of happiness but they were fleeting.
The only thing I keep telling myself is that it is important to live authentically and be in the present. If you are knee deep in an affair, you are not living authentically. If you are hoping and waiting for the day you can finally be with someone, you are not truly living in the present. I keep telling myself this as well as the fact that I had zero peace when I was in this. I had moments of happiness but they were fleeting.
