Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 22, 2021 14:19:38 GMT -8
Qualifiers
In Alcoholics Anonymous, our sister program, people who share their story are "qualifying" for their seat in the room. Al-Anon, founded by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson), picked up on the term.
Today the term is common in Love Addicts Anonymous to describe the person you are addicted to or codependent with. Because of them you are qualified to be part of this program.
This sub-board is for you to tell us about your qualifier.
I have had many qualifiers over the years. As a love addict they were always unavailable and reminded me of my father. My father was my Imago. As a codependent, my qualifier were the men I took care of so they would be grateful and fall in love with me. They were also unavailable emotionally. There is an old expression that described them. Instead of being grateful, the "bit the hand that fed them." They were selfish, and sometime mean. They all cheated on me.
The point is that I am qualified to be in this program because I have been addicted to all my qualifiers over the years. Today I am "happy, joyous, and free."
PoA
This stands for Person of Addiction. This is the term we used to use to describe our qualifier before our Zoom meetings started.
