Romantic Relationship Inventory
Apr 10, 2021 12:24:31 GMT -8
rosebud73, RoseNadler, and 3 more like this
Post by Raniece on Apr 10, 2021 12:24:31 GMT -8
Hi there:
I'm Raniece and I have been with LAA for almost a month. Grateful to have found the program.
I am posting a Relationship Inventory that Susan encouraged me create. It's just a tool to help us explore our past relationships as we journey toward recovery and more healthy relationships. Hope it can help!
Scroll down for the attachment. It is MS Word so you can type right on the document.
As we begin our journey in recovery from love addiction, we may want to take a look at our past (romantic) relationships and discover what patterns emerge. Past relationships are an excellent teacher for us, as they contain lots of evidences of our love addiction that we may not have even realized before. The hope is that if we can take an honest look at our past relationships and the dynamics that existed, we can pinpoint when it turned to love addiction and can use those lessons to grow in future relationships, and potentially avoid those same pitfalls moving forward. And while we may have experienced these relationships while in the throes of our love addiction and the lens through which we experienced and saw them was from that perspective, as we look back more sober minded, we can gain new insights and understanding and gain a deeper sense of compassion first for ourselves and maybe for the other person as well.
As Portia Nelson describes in her poem, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters,
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit… but,
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit… but,
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
This poem is a powerful illustration of us in our love addiction. Through this exercise, we can put the pretending we don’t see things aside, we can interrupt the habit that makes it so easy for us to fall into the same holes, get out quicker if we happen to fall again, keep our eyes open so we can see more clearly, walk around holes instead of falling into them and eventually choose a different path all together.
