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Post by TheSuze on Dec 10, 2021 19:42:49 GMT -8
I am currently struggling with withdrawal from a relationship that was much shorter than previous ones. We were only together about 2 months, but talked all day everyday and things seemed really good until my insecurities got triggered. I know I struggle with my reactions due to addiction, but I honestly feel I over reacted in the situation and we broke up following that. Because we were still so early in the relationship I didn’t get a full picture of if he was toxic or abusive. I guess you could say we were still in the honeymoon phase.
Does anyone have any suggestions on dealing with guilt and the “if only/what if”s for this type of situation? I am having such a hard time not taking all the blame and even if I am to blame I don’t know how to move past my pain.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 11, 2021 9:15:35 GMT -8
When I start to worry about my decisions, I think about something I learned in AA. Nothing happens by accident. Everything, even the mistakes, teaches us something we need to learn to fulfill our destiny.
If you inadvertently ended a relationship due to your love addiction, you may be ambivalent or be with someone who needs to be more understanding. Either way, ruminating about it will only make you sad. Live and learn.
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Post by TheSuze on Dec 11, 2021 15:09:12 GMT -8
Hi, Susan,
Thank you for your support!
You are right. I have realized that if it didn’t end I wouldn’t have found this program so I can start some much needed healing. I am just having a tough couple of days. I attended a meeting today and I’m trying to continue to work step 1. I messed up and tried to contact him again today and I’m really sad right now.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 11, 2021 19:36:48 GMT -8
Success is getting up one more time than you fall down.
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Post by rosebud73 on Jan 4, 2022 5:36:58 GMT -8
A better partner will be able to support you in your ugly moments. Be loving and forgiving with yourself. You are growing. I'm sorry you're in pain. We're here for you.
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Post by TheSuze on Feb 20, 2022 18:36:50 GMT -8
Thank you and sorry for my late reply. In the last few weeks I have started to understand that I am not entirely to blame for what happened. There are times I still struggle, but for the most part I see that now. I also have come to realize that had that relationship not ended, I would not have found LAA and been able to begin my healing journey to recovery, so I am grateful for that. Without recovery the relationship would not have survived anyway. I have struggled for more than half my life with this addiction, without knowing or understanding what it was until now. I am grateful everyday for this program and the path to a better, healthier life.
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